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NO POMEGRANATES

Teacher: NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO NO NO NO NO POMEGRANATES!!! NO!!! I DONT WANT THEM ANYWHERE NEAR HERE, AM I CLEAR!!! Say the role again, NO POMEGRANATES!!!, say it. Sarcastic Kids: No pomegranates...
April 2021

Kniferino to cut off your dongerino

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʜᴀғᴜ! ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴇsɢɴ ᴀs ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴜᴇss ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ʙʀɪɴɢɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ? ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴋɴɪғᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴏғғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғᴏʀ ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴍᴇ! ɪғ ɪ sᴇᴇ ᴀ sᴜᴄᴄᴜʙᴜs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴜᴍᴘ! ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ. ᴘʟᴢ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

Sandown being investigated by the FBI

twitchquotes: ༼▀ل͜▀༽ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. ༼▀ل͜▀༽
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Kripp's handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple. I need you help for my medical bill. I owe Doctor $5,000 and he only accept 5 dollar bill. Plz help. If I don't pay he take my good leg. Sincerlirino, Kripple J. Morospam
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(

Failed as a pepperino pizza

twitchquotes: Mʏ ʙᴏʏ, Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴅɪᴅᴅʟᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴡʜʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴜᴄᴋ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ?" ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ sᴀʏ ɪs, "Rɪᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ" ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀᴘᴘᴀғᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ ɢᴏ, "ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ɴᴇᴡғᴀɴɢʟᴇᴅ ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴘᴇᴀᴋ, ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ғᴀɪʟᴇᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀs ᴀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

You used ect instead of etc

Hello! You have made the mistake of writing "ect" instead of "etc." "Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are etc., &c., &c, and et cet. The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase.
May 2022

I Am Very Smart

Leifman talk the mumble automatically go to awkward

twitchquotes: When leifman talk the mumble automatically go to awkward. Leifman get rekt by the kripp and feel at one with the cringe. all becoming unmod leifman
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Kripp and his tiny peckerwood

twitchquotes: Omg Kripp... I remember seeing you in the hallways during school. I remember seeing your zipper down and I kept eyeing you tiny peckerwood. You always had the cutest grin. Please call me (205-069-1337) and find me. I will always love you. ~Eddy Pepperino (not wearing any panties atm).
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

YAYO was first found in America in the year 1070

twitchquotes: Did You Know? YAYO was first found in America in the year 1070. The native Dongers sang it to please their God. One day they didn't sing YAYO, a NACHO TORPEDO destroyed their whole culture. Ripperino Dongerino, all you knew was YAYO..
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
What happened to this ad? :(

Hurr Durr Durr Pizza

twitchquotes: ᕕOpieOPᕗ Hello Kripp, Cybrix here. Just wanted to say: ♩♬~♪ HURR DURR PIZZA ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ HURR DURR PIZZA ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ HURR DURR PIZZA ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ HURR DURR PIZZA ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪HURR DURR PIZZA ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ HURR DURR PIZZA ᕕOpieOPᕗ
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Kripp drained Greece's entire supply of Oranges

twitchquotes: Kripp, its Stavros the Fruit Seller from the bazaar. I'm sorry to tell you but you've drained Greece's entire supply of Oranges. Because of the rioting on the streets we advise you to hide any OJ supply you might have left. We can now only sell you Olive Juice and the odd jar of Tzatziki. Please no gyro ouzo
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

CNN reports on Reynad in Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: ༼;´ ༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ ༽ Attention twitch chat. CNN is reporting popular Hearthstone streamer Andrey "REYNAD" Yanyuk attempted to hang himself after a disappointing weekend of tournaments. Luckily he ran out of rope before he could finish the cowardly act. ༼;´ ༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ ༽
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

I tried to go help

Damn saw this one guy getting beat up by 2 other dudes today so I tried to go help, didn’t stand a chance against the 3 of us.
March 2021

THIS IS PETA DONT MOVE LISTEN UP

twitchquotes: THIS IS PETA DONT FUCKIN MOVE LISTEN UP I KNOW YOU'VE KILLED TWO DOGS YOU TERRORIST PEPPERONI SCUM. PUT YOUR DONGER WHERE I CAN SEE IT ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽=/̵/'̿'̿ ̿ ̿
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

We can't blame market

To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

DONGER DIPLOMACY

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Are we human or are we dancer?

twitchquotes: ζ༼⊙ ͟ل͜ ⊙༽ᶘ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ᴏʀ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇʀ? ζ༼⊙ ͟ل͜ ⊙༽ᶘ
twitch chat
August 2014
I used to be a real ad

Value Town was within reach

twitchquotes: Trump couldn’t wait. Value Town was within reach and he moaned, hard, “Tuck Frump!” He was fidgety, yet Kripparrian stripped away his juvenile briefs. “He has the perfect cards…” Kripp thought in his head, “An absolutely ridiculous deck.” Cattarrian stared casually as Kripp bounced his Ragnaros off of Trump’s plump rump.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing