twitchquotes:
Born too late to explore the Earth, born too early to explore the universe, born perfectly to explore dank memes ◕ ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡◕
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I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
NA COMING THROUGH LUL
twitchquotes:
NA COMING THROUGH 
GO TO SCHOOL RISK LIFE 10 IQ PRESIDENT GETTING MY SISTER PREGNANT WALL THINK THEY SAVED WORLD WAR NA EDUCATION GOVERMENT SO BAD HAD TO SHUT DOWN 45
GO TO SCHOOL RISK LIFE 10 IQ PRESIDENT GETTING MY SISTER PREGNANT WALL THINK THEY SAVED WORLD WAR NA EDUCATION GOVERMENT SO BAD HAD TO SHUT DOWN 45
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Classic
EU vs NA
I want to become a walrus
twitchquotes:
Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
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Classic
Just kidding, it's still Tanner
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H-hey Octavian, do you remember me from Biology? Freshman year? It's Laura. I just wanted to stop by since you missed the last reunion, I was looking for you. I always thought you were really smart and talented, but I could never work up the nerve to tell you. Anyway, I hope you're doing well...HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
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Kripp
Classic
Tanner from High School
FeelsBadMan pyramid
twitchquotes:
Only a true failure can fail to build a pyramid May as well not even bother And Still my pyramid sucks
Only a true failure can fail to build a pyramid May as well not even bother And Still my pyramid sucks
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Classic
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."