[Copypasta] Somebody I used to know

twitchquotes: I hate when people quote songs in their spam... it reminds me of Somebody I Used to Know
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March 2015
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To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021

Among Us In Real Life Song Lyrics (Emojipasta)

AMONG 😳 US 🅱️ IN 😱 REAL 😵 LIFE 💩 SUS 📮 SUS AMONG 😳 US 🅱️ IN 😱 REAL 😵 LIFE 💩 SUS 📮 SUS PLAYING 🐈 AMONG 💀 US 😡 IN 🤗 REAL 🤠 LIFE SPACESHIP 🚀 WITH 👾 MY 👅 CREW GOTTA 🥷🏿 SPLIT 😚 UP 🤡 SPREAD ⁉️ OUT 📮CUZ 😃 WE 😋 ALL 😐 GOT 😯 TASKS 👻 TO 👽 DO GOTTA 👿 FIND 👺 THE 🤧 IMPOSTER 🤫 AS 👀 THEY 🛖 TRY 🗿 TO 🛶 SA🅱️OTAGE WHO 📮CAN 🅱️ WE 🇫🇷 TRUST 😂 IN 🤪 THIS 🤯 AMONG 🤭 US 🤣 ENTOURAGE.
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Among Us / Amogus

Fortnite default dance 10

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣶⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣤⣉⣿⣿⣤⣀ ⠤⣤⣿⣤⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠛⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠛⠿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠀⠀⠀⣶⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠀⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⣿⣭⣶⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠉⠛⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣉⠀⣶⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⠛
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Grim Reaper

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡾⠿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣦⣴⣿⡋⠀⠀⠈⢳⡄⠀⢠⣾⣿⠁⠈⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠹⡄⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣏⢻⣿⣿⡆⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣷⠀⢘⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⠋⠉⠛⠂⠹⠿⣲⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡇⢀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀ ⠰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣷⡈⠿⢿⣿⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠁⢙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⡿⠀⠀⢀⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣶⣤⣉⣛⠻⠇⢠⣿⣾⣿⡄⢻⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀🈵⠀YOUR TIME HAS COME 🈵⠀
June 2021

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

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