[Copypasta] Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer

twitchquotes: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) OVERCONFIDENCE IS A SLOW AND INSIDIOUS KILLER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2015

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Tanner from Rome

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Octavian" now plebian? Haha what's up spurcifer, it's Tannerius from Rome. Remember me? Me and the other legionaries used to give a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I can see not much has changed. Remember Seira, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, she's my concubine now. I make over 200 sesterces a year and drive a quadriga chariot. I guess some things never change huh? Nice catching up. Patheticus.
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

Let's build a ladder

twitchquotes: ╠═══╣Lets build a ladder╠═══╣
twitch chat
April 2015

Classic

Zven checks his PayPal

twitchquotes: After his loss, Zven stays up deep into the night. As the rest of TSM sleeps, he opens up a new window to check his PayPal. A smile stretches across his face
twitch chat
April 2019
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

The Coldest Place in the Universe May Actually Be a Sussy Baka

The Boomerang Nebula, located roughly 5,000 light-years away from our solar system, has a temperature of 1 Kelvin (-272 °C or -460 °F) making it the coldest natural place in the universe humanity has discovered. First found in 1995 by astronomers in Chile, we have since learned quite a bit about it. The Boomerang Nebula is a young planetary nebula which has reached such cold temperatures due to its unusually rapid expansion. However, recently, modern online enthusiasts have raised one question science has yet been unable to answer: is it sus? The profound similarities between the Boomerang Nebula and the characters from the hit game Among Us have led many to believe that the Boomerang Nebula is, in fact, awfully sus, but science has yet to confirm, deny, or even respond to these questions. Follow for more updates on this developing story.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing