[Copypasta] Kripp play game for REAL man like Counterstrike Go!

twitchquotes: Privyet, Komrade Kripp! Is your cousin Dmitri from Mother Russia! I am of hearing that you make much moneys by playing simplistic card game for toddlers and whining like little baby in front of thousands of simpletons! BLYAT! You should play game for REAL man like Counterstrike Go! Already I am recruit by man with enormous forehead for professional team Tampon Storm and will be winning many tournaments, yes! Don't be a cyka, you capitalist pig, and stop crying like baby! Love, Dmitri.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
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Your sorry excuse for a job

twitchquotes: Kripp, how does it feel that by me disabling adblock I control whether or not your sorry excuse for a job continues existing
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

Hey Kripp, how's it going, Hero Academy 2 Dev here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, how's it going, Hero Academy 2 Dev here. We noticed that your salty streams are interesting and entertaining. To fix this issue, we have decided to offer you money to play our very uninteresting and boring card game that is clearly a clone of Hearthstone. We look forward to future business with you and hope that you can sellout out a little bit more in the future. ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

One off lethal

twitchquotes: Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But it’s too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. *click* He forgot to buy bullets. “One off lethal,” Rania sobs.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp
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Text-to-Speech Playing