[Copypasta] I sexually identify as a priest player

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a priest player. Everyday I dream about flying into ranked games and conceding to rank 25 players. Call me retarded. I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm getting plastic surgery to get my minions silenced for 2 mana. You can now refer to me as Anduinn and respect my right to concede on turn 1. If you can't accept me you're a holy-phobe and need to check your concede privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

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More Hearthstone Copypastas

Kripp's lettuce points

twitchquotes: The year is 2035. Kripp's lettuce points have quickly developed into one of the most valuable crypto currencies in the world. Elsewhere, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, watching Kripp's stream, desperately trying to gamble for some lettuce points. He types "!bet 2 all" in chat, and anxiously awaits the results. Upon seeing Kripp go 0-3, Tanner puts a gun to his head and lets out one final "never lucky" before pulling the trigger.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

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Tanner from High School

Amaz and Kripp

twitchquotes: Amaz moans hard as Kripp gropes his smallish package. “Pepperoni” Kripp whispered into Amaz’s elvish ear, as they started making out. “Do…do I win?” Amaz says tentatively, as Kripp slowly tugs away his pants. “Your deck is crazy” Kripp says, as he flips Amaz on his back. “It’s lethal guys” Amaz says playfully, as he presents his Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Must be Weasel Tunneler

twitchquotes: 🐿 Great Fur 🐿 Extremely Handsome 🐿 Innovative Deathrattle 🐿 High Level Tactics 🐿 Moderately Sized Fedora 🐿 Great Animations 🐿 Broken Interactions 🐿 Must be Weasel Tunneler 🐿
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

They were tears of pain

twitchquotes: They were not tears of salt; they were tears of pain. Jowi03 was devastated after being beaten by Kripp. The supple, 11 year old child wails aloud, his dream shattered, realizing he will never be a professional gamer. “I’m not going 0-3,” Kripp lashes with his sinister tongue. Yes, just another ‘easy win’ for Kripparrian...
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing