[Copypasta] NA ULT LUL

twitchquotes: Listen up you fcking dweebs, this is a WAKE UP CALL to all those who type "NA ULT LUL". I'm from NA and let me tell you what happens when I use my Ultimate Ability (Q on PC, Triangle on PS4, Y on X-box 1). The enemy team is eviscerated. Decimated. Their souls are expelled from the server and banished to Hell. They wallow in their own filth and shit for 10,000 days and it is disgusting. So next time you type "NA ULT LUL" you fcking remember this post.
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Overwatch

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I am the BM in the lethal, the salt in the defeat

twitchquotes: The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until i am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For i am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

I fucked Up DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
April 2022

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Hello. My name is Inigo Dongtoya

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ Ν  Ν Β°γ€œ ΝœΚ–γ€œ Ν  Ν Β° ΰΌ½οΎ‰Β€=[β€”β€”β€”β€” Hello. My name is Inigo Dongtoya. You killed my Kappa. Prepare to die.
twitch chat
March 2015

Classic

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