[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
January 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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Right in the face

twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iā€™m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iā€™m not sure what to say in interviews now if Iā€™m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Hi Kripp, this is Pogoā€™s mom

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, this is Pogoā€™s mom. I noticed you havenā€™t been picking my son for your team in gym class. Pogo has been having a really tough time since his dad and I split up, and it doesnā€™t make it easy on him when you reroll and say, "Weā€™re never taking Pogo". I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if someone said that about you. Pogo has mech synergy and can be combined into one big Pogo if you have 3! Why donā€™t you try being a bit more inclusive?
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

An automated message from Blizzard Entertainment to Athene

twitchquotes: Greetings, AtheneLIVE! This is an automated message from Blizzardā„¢ Entertainment. You are receiving this message because our Hearthstoneā„¢ AI has flagged your account due to an unusual number of ranked game losses. We recommend that you use the "Suggested Card" feature before progressing any further. Thanks - The Blizzardā„¢ Team.
twitch chat
July 2014
AtheneLIVE

0-10 IN GROUPS, FASTEST INTERNATIONAL B05

twitchquotes: KEKW 0-10 IN GROUPS KEKW FASTEST INTERNATIONAL B05 LOSS TO EU KEKW NEVER WON WORLDS KEKW NEVER WON MSI KEKW IRRELEVANT SINCE S1 KEKW OBSESSED WITH EU KEKW 0 TEAMS OUT OF GROUPS KEKW TSM XD KEKW NA OMEGALUL Clap
twitch chat
April 2020
LCS

League of Legends

EU vs NA

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