[Copypasta] Only the chosen one can stack 7 Doritos chips

Only the chosen o DoritosChip ne can stack the doritoes one by one can you st DoritosChip ack the doritoes like a man or cry like a little baby DoritosChip scrub. Three doritoes is for pussies, chosen one DoritosChip  PogChamp wants to stack higher. Is four to little for yo DoritosChip u how about five. NO Way PogChamp wants six No no DoritosChip no PogChamp wants SEVEN of it. The real and only chos DoritosChip en one is always me.
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February 2017
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She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. “I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
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