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👁👃👁 S T A Y W O K E
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I used to be a real ad
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Starcraft Ghost
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡑⠉⡆⠀⠈⠀⢸⢖⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣮⠕⠉⢀⡰⢿⢤⠏⡿⠀⠀⠀SOMEBODY⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⢊⣠⣒⣆⡥⠃⠀⡏⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀CALL⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢀⠔⠊⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠸⡆⠀⢠⠃⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀FOR⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠘⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⠉⢹⠒⢱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀AN⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣄⡠⢼⣠⠃⠀⠀⠀EXTERMINATOR?⠀
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Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon
twitchquotes:
Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
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MAURICIO HONORATO
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I have never seen a team with MAURICIO HONORATO lose a game.... I mean, he's perfect, incredible, good aim, intelligent, handsome... I honestly don't see MAURICIO HONORATO losing this game.
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Overwatch
A man has fallen into the river in Lego City! (uwu version)
a man has fawwen into teh riwer in lego city! owo
start the rescuwu hewicopter
HEY nuzzles u
Buiwd teh hewicopter and owoff to the resucuwu
prepare the lifeline, lowoer the stwetcher and make teh resucuwu
the newu emewgency cowwection fwom lego city!!!
Lego City
Awooga Awooga
twitchquotes:
*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
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