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๐๐๐ S T A Y W O K E
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For the blind, it is light
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Who is [streamer name]? 
For the blind, ๐ฆ it is light. ๐ก For the hungry ๐ฃ , it is bread. ๐ For the sick, ๐ it is the cure. โ๏ธ For the sad ๐ข , it is joy. ๐ For the poor ๐ซ๐ฐ , it is the treasure; ๐ฐ โ๏ธ for the debtor โ ๐ฐ , it is forgiveness. ๐ For the face ๐ถ , it is the lips ๐
For the blind, ๐ฆ it is light. ๐ก For the hungry ๐ฃ , it is bread. ๐ For the sick, ๐ it is the cure. โ๏ธ For the sad ๐ข , it is joy. ๐ For the poor ๐ซ๐ฐ , it is the treasure; ๐ฐ โ๏ธ for the debtor โ ๐ฐ , it is forgiveness. ๐ For the face ๐ถ , it is the lips ๐
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Mods are the true evil
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As a Pleb, I understand and, indeed, respect the social order. But I believe Subs and Plebs must work together and realize Mods are the true evil in this world. With the power of SPAM we will show the Mods their true place in the hierarchy: crushed beneath 
s and 
s
s and s
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Trick2g
plebs vs subs
I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut
I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life.
After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out- pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha-- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeรฑo," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeรฑo." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger.
A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. Mom, Dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi--" A single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty country road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone.
At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one.
With a free side order of pain.
I hate April Fool's Day
Iโm fucking shaking and crying right now yโall, and people arenโt taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISNโT FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. Iโve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, theyโd be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as Iโm BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. Iโm allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because ITโS SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. Iโve had enough
Story of Felipe
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Let me tell you about Felipe. Felipe is good boy from Guadalajara. He wake at 6:00 to make food for white man. He eat his chipotle like a good boy, and clean the taco like a good boy. When he finish burrito he play stonehearth, but Felipe is sad. Felipe say he no win because of Kripp, and Felipe want retribution. Beware your taco kripp, it may have jalapeno poison...
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Kripp