twitchquotes:
< 
/
/
twitch chat
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me “Windows Update 10.0.10586” and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as
Kreygasm
twitchquotes:
twitch chat
Kripp
Leifman is part of the Third Reich
twitchquotes:
ｗｈｅｎ ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ ｍｏｄ ｔｈｅ ｃｈａｔ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｒ９ｋ． ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ ｄｅｌｅｔｅ ｔｈｅ ｐａｓｔａ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｈｅ ｉｓ ｏｎｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ａｄｏｌｆ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｔｈｉｒｄ ｒｅｉｃｈ．ž
twitch chat
Kripp
Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass
I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.
I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.
The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.