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By All That Is Holy I Summon Fish Moley
By All That Is Holy I Summon Fish Moley
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What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?
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Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. Itās not a story the Jedi would tell you. Itās a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create lifeā¦ He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerfulā¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
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Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise
Classic
AITA for saving a child from a dangerous situation?
I know this sounds bad, but hear me out.
Earlier this month, I was walking home from the store as usual. I began smelling a feint burning smell and I heard muffled shouting ahead. I picked up the pace to discover the commotion. A building was on fire and a small child was standing by the second story window shrieking for help as flames rose behind him. Luckily, I had been doing parkour ever since I was a teen so I climbed up to his window and reached out to grab the child. He reached out for me as well and I hoisted him down on my back. When we reached the ground the child ran to his parents and they thanked me while hugging him.
Later today I was visiting a friend in prison who happens to be serving a sentence for attempted murder of many children. He said I was an asshole and I shouldnāt have saved the kid from the burning building. Ever since, I canāt help but feel like kind of an asshole so I would appreciate to hear a third persons perspective on this. So reddit, AITA?
Am I The Asshole?
Daily WSB trader routine
1. Wake up
2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls
3. Shit while looking at charts, donāt wipe
4. Fomo and buy the top
5. Watch stock Plummet
6. Sell, watch stock go up
7. Go to WSB and downvote everything
8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are
9. Stare at futures for 3 hours
10. Sleep & repeat
WallStreetBets
Our most powerful technique - Submode
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"You are Anakin no longer, but Darth Vader. Rise my young apprentince," says Palpatine to the new Darth Vader. "My master, can you teach me how to resurrect the dead through the force?" asks Vader. Trump smirks, "In time, my apprentice, but first you must learn our most powerful technique - Sub Mode."
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Trump
Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?
Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? Iāve never heard that joke before, but itās so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. Thereās a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just canāt get over this joke. Iām giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kidās Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, āI hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.ā I will tell my children, and my childrenās children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. Iām fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. Iām gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. Itās gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, āI identify as an attack helicopter.ā Itāll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just canāt believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think Iām going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I canāt believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think Iām going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but thatās okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I wonāt forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.