[Copypasta] You are currently in a 25 year coma

twitchquotes: If you are reading this message, Jesse, you are currently in a 25 year coma. We've been trying to communicate with you for the longest time by manipulating your brain waves, but nothing so far has worked. If you manage to read this it means our new method has succeeded. Please, wake up Jesse. Your family loves you and wants you back. In a week they are going to pull the plug on your life support, they can't afford the medical bills anymore.
twitch chat
August 2017
Sneaky
What happened to this ad? :(
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zachary is no more. there is only cock

twitchquotes: sneaky's eyelids flutter open. on one side of his bed, his beloved, lynn. on the other side, his lover, meteos. he slowly awakens to his surroundings. "...cocks," he mutters as he walks to the bathroom. "cocks," he slurs as he brushes his teeth. "cocks," he says while in the shower, hands washing all over his body. "cocks," he says as he burns his food and decides to order postmates. sneaky's life is consumed by cocks. zachary is no more. there is only cock.
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

Same

twitchquotes: The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: β€œI’m proud of you.” Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

League of Legends

sneaky sometimes your screaming wakes me up

twitchquotes: sneaky everytime i go to sleep i turn your stream on so i can fall asleep to your voice, sometimes your screaming wakes me up but at least i dont hear my dad beating my mom in the other room :)
twitch chat
June 2019
Sneaky

For 5 years this Braum subs to Sneaky

twitchquotes: For 5 years this Braum subs to Sneaky. He climbs up from Bronze 3 to Diamond over the course of 4 years. Finally the day comes; he gets to play with Mr Scudderi. He picks Braum goes 1/10 gets flamed. He turns to alcohol and hard drugs. Starts beating his dog. Ends it in his mother's basement.
twitch chat
August 2019
Sneaky

League of Legends

Sneaky's bad TFT advice

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Zachary. My name is Inigo Montoya and you killed my chances of making it to Top 4. I listened to your advice when you said that Cavalier comp is β€œLIT.” Every time I play it I get a fast 8th. For that reason, Mr. Scuderi, prepare to die.
twitch chat
May 2021
Sneaky

Teamfight Tactics

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