[Copypasta] Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.๏ปฟ
February 2021

Shrek

Classic

Start with something small like your intelligence

twitchquotes: I've heard shoving things up your ass is quite painful so you might want to start with something small like your intelligence and build up to bigger things like your ego
twitch chat
March 2020

Classic

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell โ€œamogusโ€ 69 times

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell โ€œamogusโ€ 69 times,a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Trumpet Skeleton of the Abyss

twitchquotes: ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€ IF YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE WHILE SCROLLING you have been visited by trumpet skeleton of the abyss. good bones and calcium will come to you but only if you reply "thank mr skeltal" to this message and pasta it to 3 times!! ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin I donโ€™t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe itโ€™s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally Iโ€™ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then Iโ€™ll walk around my house and pick up various different โ€œtrinketsโ€ and put them in my bag while saying stuff like โ€œIโ€™ll be having thatโ€ and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (โ€œtrinketsโ€ can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. Iโ€™m 99% sure they donโ€™t know itโ€™s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
July 2022

Classic

Confessions

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing