[Copypasta] Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police

twitchquotes: DatSheffy 📢 ATTENTION, OCTAVIAN MOROSAN! This is Captain Cucumber of the Vegan Police! You have been accused of violating the Supreme Vegan Charter by drafting beast cards in your arena decks and forcing them to fight for you! This is a blatant act of animal exploitation and is punishable by death! Surrender peacefully and we will make it a quick and painless one! This is your only warning!
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Classic

Cover yourself in oil to fly

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠤⠄⠒⠒⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠐⠒⠒⠒⠂⠤⣤⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⠒⠤⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠠⠠⠤⠤⠤⠒⠊⡸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡀⠄⠄⢀⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡰⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⡀⠈⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣊⣀⣀⣀⠄⡰⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣫⣙⣛⣛⣛⣿⣟⣻⡻⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣯⣽⣾⣿⣟⣻⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⣹⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡼⠋⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡠⠞⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⠶⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⠴⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢀⣀⣀⡤⠤⠖⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄oil floats on water⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣯⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⣿⣿⣿⣟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣫⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⣋⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⣛⣫⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣭⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⡿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⣾⣿⣛⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣾⣷⣿⣟⣿⣞⣽⣿⣟⣾⡿⣫⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⡉⡉⣶⠤⠄⠤⠹⠯⠭⠝⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣭⣾⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⢘⣥⣤⡤⢄⡀⠄⠄⢂⣀⣈⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡿⣿⣿⢟⡿⣷⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡿⢋⡤⣲⠬⣘⣫⠽⠛⠺⠓⠄⢲⠟⠛⡋⣉⣁⡄⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⢍⣾⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡤⠻⠐⢯⡓⢦⣄⣀⡀⣖⠦⠄⡈⣹⠦⠍⣡⣧⠈⡾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠘⢶⠄⠈⢿⣹⢷⣤⣼⡉⠓⠒⠛⡗⠒⣎⣯⣿⢸⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠣⡀⠄⠙⠦⣀⡏⠙⠛⡟⢻⡿⢿⢿⣿⡿⢸⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⣒⣷⣣⠔⢭⠙⡒⠳⠾⠶⠟⢛⠩⠄⠘⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⠟⠁⣿⠈⠿⡷⢦⣈⣁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣰⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡴⠛⠁⠄⠄⣷⠄⠄⠙⢦⠄⠄⠉⠉⠓⠒⠊⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⢷⡀⠄⣀⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⡤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢧⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄wait for it to rain ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ cover yourself in oil ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⠖⠒⠒⣒⠶⠒⠒⠲⠶⠒⣶⣶⣤⠤⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡰⠟⠄⠠⣐⠹⠦⠉⠒⠒⢀⠁⠐⠒⠂⠤⠄⠍⡀⠓⢦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡞⠄⠄⠄⣀⢨⣾⣿⣿⣛⡳⣦⠄⢀⣘⣤⣴⣦⣦⡄⠄⢘⢧⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡜⠋⣴⠞⢻⡛⠶⠦⠴⠞⠄⠈⠙⠋⠄⠈⢹⡉⠉⢀⣀⣴⠶⠕⡁⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢇⠄⢧⠒⢻⡉⠓⢶⣄⣀⡀⠐⣟⣫⣤⠄⠈⣹⠷⠄⡈⢁⣧⢐⡣⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⠻⣆⠄⠄⠙⣯⢻⠷⣦⣤⣿⡉⠛⢛⠒⠻⣶⠒⢺⣏⣿⣿⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢧⡈⠄⠈⠛⣄⡀⣹⠟⠛⠛⢿⠿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⠄⠄⠹⢶⣗⣴⡢⠉⡛⠶⢤⠤⣿⣀⣼⣡⡼⣥⠿⠾⠃⠄⢈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠘⠚⠮⣍⡐⠄⠂⠤⠉⠙⠓⢒⢀⡨⢒⡴⣼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡴⢛⠟⠛⢿⠶⠤⣤⣀⣄⣀⣠⣷⠞⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⠋⢀⡞⠄⠄⠄⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⠚⠄⠄⡼⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡾⠃⠄⠄⢰⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣧⠄⠄⠄⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⠁⠄⣴⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣏⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⠄⠄⣠⣿⣀⠄⠄⠄⣹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠋⠄⠄⠄⠙⢶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⠏⠄⠠⠄⠠⢤⣤⡴⠄⣀⣄⠈⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⠄⠏⠄⠄⠐⠃⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠄⠈⠐⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠶⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⢀⣀⣀⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⣴⠶⠚⠉⠁⠘⠓⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢶⣤⣠⡖⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⠗⠄⠄⠄⠖⡭⠭⠿⢅⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠾⢿⠄⣄⣀⣸⢸⣸⠄⠄⢂⠱⢆⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠁⣲⠆⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣱⣟⢥⣿⡸⠤⢆⡀⠄⡰⠌⡁⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠙⠃⠉⠓⠂⢓⠦⣤⣆⡤⠴⡒⠒⠚⠉⢀⣰⠈⢶⣧⠄⢳⣄⣠⡖⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠻⠶⠤⠤⠛⠙⠂⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⣿⣄⠄⠢⠓⠈⢛⠕⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠠⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄fly⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⣷ ⠄⣿⣾⡤⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⠄⠄⣿⣿⡗⣿ ⠄⣿⣾⣶⣟⣀⣤⣤⣤⣾⢿⡿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣦⣶⣶⣤⣿⣿⣏⣹⣏⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⡗⣿ ⣠⣿⣿⣦⣿⢿⣹⣏⣿⣿⢾⡷⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⢶⡷⣷⡆⠄⠄⢹⣧⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⣿⣯⣹⣏⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣉⣯⣹⣿⢾⡷⣿⠄⠄⣤⣶⡦⠄⠄⣿⢻⡗⣿⠄⠄⠄⢺⣍⣿⣿⣉⣿⣿⣿⣏⣹⣏⣿⣆⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣄⢀⣿⣿⣤⠂⠄⣿⢻⡟⣿⡆⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2021

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Thinking Emoji

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▄█▀▀░░░░░░▀▀█▄▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▄█▀▄██▄░░░░░░░░▀█▄▒▒▒ ▒▒█▀░▀░░▄▀░░░░▄▀▀▀▀░▀█▒▒ ▒█▀░░░░███░░░░▄█▄░░░░▀█▒ ▒█░░░░░░▀░░░░░▀█▀░░░░░█▒ ▒█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▒ ▒█░░██▄░░▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░█▒ ▒▀█░█░█░░░▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░░█▀▒ ▒▒▀█▀░▀▀▀▀░▄▄▄▀░░░░▄█▀▒▒ ▒▒▒█░░░░░░▀█░░░░░▄█▀▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒█▄░░░░░▀█▄▄▄█▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
May 2017

Classic

I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing