[Copypasta] Dicks are so cute omg

twitchquotes: Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾)
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I used to be a real ad
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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

twitchquotes: 🔊🔊🚨🚨WARNING🔊🚨🚨WARNING🚨🚨🔊THIS IS A 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸ALERT. INCOMING 🐸DANK 👽MEME🐸 👐👌HEADING STRAIGHT 🚀🚀YOUR WAY. 🔜👆👆👆PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS🚧🚧 NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸 🌋🌋🌋 .BUCKLE UP♿♿♿ THEM SEATBELTS👮👮,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT📵📵 AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS👅👅🍑🍑🍑🍩🍩💩💩 CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE 🚬🚬 🍁🏭🍁🏭🍁🚬🚬DANK FACTORY.
twitch chat
May 2016

Emoji Pasta

Classic

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

Mods can't ban me at this pace

twitchquotes: 🐢 SLOW AND STEADY 🐢 WINS THE RACE 🐢 MODS CAN'T BAN ME 🐢 AT THIS PACE 🐢
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Classic

What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?

twitchquotes: What if I... put my Minecraft bed... 😳 next to yours... 😳 aha ha, just kidding.. 😂 unless.. ? 😳
twitch chat
August 2019

Classic

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