[Copypasta] I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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AMOGUS (youtube video) v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⠁⣀⢀⢀⠀⣀⠀⣀⠀⠀⡀⣀⠙⢷⡀⠺⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⢰⢿⣿⢻⡿⣿⢿⣯⡼⣧⡇⣿⡆⢸⡇⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⡀⠀⠘⢷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢷⣄⠈⢙⡷⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡴⠾⠋⠁⣠⡶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣤⡀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠐⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣶⠻⠟⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⣠⣤⠤⠤⣄⡈⢻⡄⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢰⡖⠲⣶⣶⢤⡤⠤⣤⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠻⣷⣶⡶⠾⠃⠈⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⡿⠿⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢀⣉⣛⠛⠉⢠⡙⠲⢿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡇⠀⣿⣧⣤⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣌⠛⠿⠿⠖⣎⣤⣶⡛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠙⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠠⢤⡀⠀⢀⡬⠟⣻⣿⣯⠍⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣠⠶⠶⠶⢶⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠋⠀⠀⣳⣾⡴⠂⠀⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⣰⣛⣛⣺⣀⣀⣸⣆⣀⣀⣸⣇⣀⣀⣸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠉⠓⢦⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣷⣼⣵⣻⡄⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⣀⣸⣧⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠛⠛⢻⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛ ⣀⣀⣸⠁⠀⠀⢀⣶⣶⣦⠀⢀⣟⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀
ascii art
November 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

This player is fantastic

twitchquotes: This [insert CSGO team or player here] is fantastic. Just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting a kill.
twitch chat
July 2020

Classic

CSGO

Now playing Who Asked (Feat: Nobody)

twitchquotes: now ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Who asked (Feat: Nobody) ───────────⚪────── ◄◄⠀▐▐⠀►► 𝟸:𝟷𝟾 / 𝟹:𝟻𝟼⠀───○ 🔊
twitch chat
February 2020

Classic

Who Asked?

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