[Copypasta] I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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You need a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Classic

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

When I use this text, my brain cell begin to die

twitchquotes: ο½—ο½ˆο½…ο½Ž ｉ ｕｓｅ ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½“ ο½”ο½…ο½˜ο½”οΌŒ ｍｙ ο½‚ο½’ο½ο½‰ο½Ž ο½ƒο½…ο½Œο½Œ ο½ο½•ο½”ο½ο½ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½Œο½™ ο½‚ο½…ο½‡ο½‰ο½Ž ｔｏ ο½„ο½‰ο½…οΌŽ ο½™ο½…ο½” ｉ ο½ƒο½ο½Žο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½•ο½… ｔｏ ｃｏｐｙｐａｓｔａ ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½†ο½…ο½…ο½Œ ｉ ο½ƒο½ο½Žο½”ο½’ο½‰ο½‚ο½•ο½”ο½… ｔｏ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½‰ο½Žο½”ο½…ο½’ο½Žο½…ο½”οΌŽ ａｌｌ ο½‚ο½…ο½ƒο½ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ｒｅｔａｒｄ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Perfect LUL Pyramid

LUL only real LULer can build this perfect pyramid LUL LUL . Try like me !Try like me ! Try like me !! LUL LUL LUL And my pyramid still higher!!!!!! LUL LUL LUL LUL
twitch chat
June 2016

Classic

When you copy messages don't copy the name

twitchquotes: Jimmy_Swaggart: ForsenIsNeverLucky: FailFish DONT COPY THE FailFish NAME WHEN YOU FailFish COPY THE PASTA FailFish
twitch chat
May 2015

Classic

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