[Copypasta] No girlfriend. No friends. No talents.

twitchquotes: 4Head No girlfriend 4Head No friends 4Head No talents 4Head Saturday night alone 4Head Wasting time on Twitch 4Head Watching a dead game 4Head Reading the chat more than the stream 4Head Spamming pastas brainlessly 4Head Must be me
twitch chat
September 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Amogus gorilla

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⣷⠀⠀⠀⣴⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⡁⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⠀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢷⡄⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠃⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠹⣏⠉⠛⠷⠾⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠀⠙⠷⠶⣶⣦⣶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⢦⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣄⣠⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠏⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠉⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

cyrSwag

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣻⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠖⠻⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⡶⠦⣤⣄⠠⣤⣨⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠁⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣶⡄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣯⣀⣀⣀⣴⣵⣎⣻⣿⣿⣟⠁⠄⡐⠲⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡁⣟⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡆⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡻⣷⡆⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣽⣿⣶⣆⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠅⢸⣿⡏⠿⣿⣿⢫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠐⠛⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⡁⠬⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠈⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⡀⠈⠿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠟⠒⠛⠛⠿⠿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣻⣿⣽⠏⠄⠈⣿⣥⡀⠄⠄⠈⠉⠘⠃⠄⠄⠄⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀ ⠉⣈⡀⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣾⣷⣦⣀⣀⢀⢀⣀⡀⢀⣿⣿⡿⢿⣁⠄⠄⣠⣠⣿⣯ ⡈⣛⣛⣄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣡⡾⠛⢁⣴⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
December 2020
cyr

a tesla drives down the street in 2021

the year is 2021 A tesla drives down the street unknowing of the danger behind it a beast of American metal and lightning The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can It cannot save him, he can hear the music already "THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY" He realizes he is already dead In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV It stops for no one
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp
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