[Copypasta] My mom took away my Xbox

twitchquotes: My mom took away my Xbox. This is the saddest moment in my life. The most pain and unimaginable suffering I have ever felt before. Have I been a bad boy? Is that why she did what she did? I don’t know. I have so many questions. I also have depression because of lack of Xbox. I can’t play Minecraft. I love Minecraft so so much, it’s my favorite game in the entire world. Why would she take such joy and happiness away from me? Does she think I do bad things on there? If so, she should know that I join good Christian Minecraft servers only. That’s it.... I give up. I can’t fr*cking take another painful second of this anymore. This torture is what has been depressing me for so long. I swear to h**k, I’ll get that Xbox back if it kills me.
twitch chat
December 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Hey Kripp, you didnt give me recognition

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

OWO

⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⢰⣿⡆⠀⣾⣿⡆⠀⣾⣷⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⠘⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⡇⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣷⣶⣶⡿⠁⠀⠈⣿⣿⠟⠀⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
ascii art
July 2019

Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom

twitchquotes: Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom. He has descended to casualness not often witnessed. He watches other people play and imagines their wins as his. His ego is inflated to enormous levels, and he cannot help but pat himself on the back and take credit for a game he did not play. His ego is satisfied for now, but what comes next?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Twitch Chat containment solution

twitchquotes: International efforts to contain the most toxic and dangerous internet dwellers have failed time and time again, until a secret organisation offered to build a prison for internet's worst scum. The project codenamed "Twitch Chat" pretending to be an addition to a livestreaming service has proven to be a very effective containment solution.
twitch chat
January 2019
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