[Copypasta] My mom took away my Xbox

twitchquotes: My mom took away my Xbox. This is the saddest moment in my life. The most pain and unimaginable suffering I have ever felt before. Have I been a bad boy? Is that why she did what she did? I don’t know. I have so many questions. I also have depression because of lack of Xbox. I can’t play Minecraft. I love Minecraft so so much, it’s my favorite game in the entire world. Why would she take such joy and happiness away from me? Does she think I do bad things on there? If so, she should know that I join good Christian Minecraft servers only. That’s it.... I give up. I can’t fr*cking take another painful second of this anymore. This torture is what has been depressing me for so long. I swear to h**k, I’ll get that Xbox back if it kills me.
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
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My blood pumpulates at incredibly capacities

twitchquotes: In greece, Kripparrian has risening from his antiwoke. As the Kripparrian plays cardstone, my blood pumpulates at incredibly capacities. For Kripparrian wins 50 cardstone. From a statistically standingpoint this is without precidenting! A hugely kilometerstone!
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
February 2021

Shrek

Classic

Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor

Just heard an employee use the “F word” on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but don’t you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

STOP POSTING ABOUT SQUID GAME!

STOP POSTING ABOUT SQUID GAME! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT, MY FRIENDS ON TIK TOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD ITS FUCKING MEMES. I was in a server, right? AND ALL OF THE CHANNELS ARE JUST SQUID GAME STUFF. I SHOWED MY NEW TRACKSUIT TO MY GIRLFRIEND AND I SAID "hey babe, I'm on squid game." HAHA MUGUNGHWA KKOCHI PIOTASEUMNIDA, I FUCKING LOOKED AT A MAN GETTING SHOT AND SAID, "Uh oh, he failed this game!" I LOOKED AT THE HEAD OF MY PENIS, I THINK OF THE SUPERVISOR'S MASK AND I GO "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUPERVISOR," AAAAAAAAA
November 2021

Squid Game

Lea moans over Reynad's powerful Hearthstone thighs

twitchquotes: Lᴇᴀ ɪs ᴍᴏᴀɴɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛʜʀᴜsᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀғᴜʟ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʜsᴛᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜɪɢʜs ᴀɴᴅ 8.5 ɪɴᴄʜ (ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀsᴇ) ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ. Sʜᴇ sᴄʀᴇᴀᴍs ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴏʟʟ ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏᴘ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ʜᴇʀ. Hᴇʀ ᴍᴏɪsᴛ ᴛᴏᴍᴀᴛᴏ sᴀᴜᴄᴇ ɢᴜsʜᴇs ᴀʟʟ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪs ᴀs sʜᴇ ʀᴜɴs ʜᴇʀ ғɪɴɢᴇʀɴᴀɪʟs ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴋᴇᴅ, ʜᴀɪʀʟᴇss, ʙᴏʏ-ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴄʜᴇsᴛ. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
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