[Copypasta] My mom took away my Xbox

twitchquotes: My mom took away my Xbox. This is the saddest moment in my life. The most pain and unimaginable suffering I have ever felt before. Have I been a bad boy? Is that why she did what she did? I don’t know. I have so many questions. I also have depression because of lack of Xbox. I can’t play Minecraft. I love Minecraft so so much, it’s my favorite game in the entire world. Why would she take such joy and happiness away from me? Does she think I do bad things on there? If so, she should know that I join good Christian Minecraft servers only. That’s it.... I give up. I can’t fr*cking take another painful second of this anymore. This torture is what has been depressing me for so long. I swear to h**k, I’ll get that Xbox back if it kills me.
twitch chat
December 2018
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Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

Classic

Kripp's lettuce points

twitchquotes: The year is 2035. Kripp's lettuce points have quickly developed into one of the most valuable crypto currencies in the world. Elsewhere, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, watching Kripp's stream, desperately trying to gamble for some lettuce points. He types "!bet 2 all" in chat, and anxiously awaits the results. Upon seeing Kripp go 0-3, Tanner puts a gun to his head and lets out one final "never lucky" before pulling the trigger.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

PepegaEZ

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠶⠤⠄⠄⣶⣶⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣰⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⠝⠻⢯⣥⣶⣶⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣫⠶⣚⣓⣒⠌⢛⡵⢋⣵⠶⢦⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢒⣉⣑⠢⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⢩⣾⣿⡿⠛⢿⣮⠱⣿⣿⠠⡄⠹⡄⠠⠤ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣯⣶⣿⣿⣦⣙⠿⠿⠿⠆⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⢠⡄⠄⠉⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣏⣭⣭⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠼⣅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠ ⠺⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⡿⢿⣷⣮⡻⢿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣵⣿⣿⣿⣮⣻⡿⠶⣚⠔⠄ ⠄⠈⠻⣿⢸⣿⡕⣷⣬⡻⢿⣷⣬⣛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣛⣫⣥⠶⠛⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠻⢿⣮⡉⠉⠓⠶⣮⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠄⣰⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠓⠒⠠⣄⣉⣙⣛⣛⣋⣁⣠⠤⠴⠖⢟⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣨⣭⣭⠵⠶⠒⠉⠄⠄⠄⠈⠑⠢⡄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣷⣶⠶⣫⣼⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⠋⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2021

Pepe

80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019

All becoming better than Kripp

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｍｉｓｐｌａｙ, Ｉ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｓｈｏｗ ｈｉｍ ｍｙ ｋｎｏｗｌｅｄｇｅ. Ｉ Ｃｒｉｔｉｃｉｚｅ ｈｉｓ ｇａｍｉｎｇ ａｂｉｌｉｔｉｅｓ ａｎｄ ｃａｌｌ ｈｉｍ ｔｈｅ ｎｏｏｂ. ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｂｅｔｔｅｒ ｔｈａｎ ｋｒｉｐｐ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
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