[Copypasta] My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
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January 2019
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Big Chungus v2

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January 2022

I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT

Oh for the love of God. Enough with the MORBIUS. What’s even the joke???? β€œHahahaha hey guys the movie sucks but I pretend it’s good”???? THATS NOT EVEN A FUCKING JOKE. Holy shit my dick is going to fall out of its foreskin if I have to hear, β€œhehe it’s morbin time” ONE MORE TIME. Not only is it NOT funny, IT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE. THE POWER RANGERS HAVENT BEEN RELEVANT IN DECADES. MORBIUS SUCKS THE MOVIE IS COMPLETE TRASH AND IM ASHAMED TO HAVE SPENT MONEY ON IT. You know…. I never would have seen the movie without all of these β€œmemes”(unfunny shitposts). I would have been a MUCH HAPPIER PERSON. So fuck your β€œMORBIUS” your β€œmighty morbin more morbs morbidly MORBIUS BULLSHIT” NO ONE CARES, YOU ARENT FUNNY. Does not a singular human being have any independent thought anymore???? β€œMorb morb morb morb” you’re like a BUNCH OF SEAGULLS. SEA GULLS. What the FUCK does β€œmorbin” even mean????? ITS NOT A WORD. ITS JUST GOBBLE GOOP. I feel like I am the last truly sentient human being on earth. IM BEING DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. TAKE YOUR MORBIUS BULLSHIT, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, AND GO OUTSIDE. Maybe if you went outside you could get β€œmorb” bitches on your dick??!!! YOU LIKE THAT, YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE REDUCED ME INTO. I am a shell of a man and all of you collectively are to blame.This meme has spread like a debilitating illness AND I CANT GET AWAY FROM IT. THE FALL OF WESTERN SOCIETY IS HERE AND THIS COMPLETE UNFUNNY DRIBBLE OF A MEME IS PART OF THE PROBLEM. WHAT THE FUCK DOES β€œgETtiNg MoRBed” EVEN MEAN. it makes ZERO SENSE. ITS JUST GIBBERISH. FUCKING GIBB ER ISH. ITS NOT FUNNY. Saying β€œmorb” LIKE ITS ITS OWN PUNCHLINE IS NOT COMEDY. IT IS COMEDIC AND CULTURAL DEGRADATION. Are we really so stunted as a generation that even the mention of any word that starts with m-o-r-b is FUNNY??? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE. Is it funny because it isn’t funny because praising something bad is now good??????? HOW MANY LAYERS OF IRONY DO WE NEED. HOW FAR DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO. This website has stripped me of EVERY LAST BRAINCELL. GOING ON REDDIT FEELS LIKE IM GETTING A SUPER HERO INDUCED LOBOTOMY. I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT. I know I’m just going to get FLOODED WITH β€œget morbed, this guy got morbed, what morb does to a man” HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHQHQHAHAHAHAHAHWHHSHWBSQIISHWINSIQKSBDD SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY AGAGAGGAGHHHHHHHHH
July 2022

Morbius

Gru and Spongebob fanfic

August 2021

Spongebob

NSFW

Morbius is love. Morbius is life.

I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, β€œMorbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, β€œIt’s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
June 2022

Morbius

AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not. When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids? Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around. She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money. What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says β€œI kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me. The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife? Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
August 2021

AITA

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