[Copypasta] My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
January 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Copy whatever that brain dead moron types

twitchquotes: I swear all this chat ever does is pick the one idiot with the lowest IQ and copy whatever that brain dead moron types.
twitch chat
November 2017

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? Iā€™ve never heard that joke before, but itā€™s so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. Thereā€™s a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just canā€™t get over this joke. Iā€™m giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kidā€™s Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, ā€œI hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.ā€ I will tell my children, and my childrenā€™s children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. Iā€™m fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. Iā€™m gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. Itā€™s gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, ā€œI identify as an attack helicopter.ā€ Itā€™ll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just canā€™t believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think Iā€™m going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I canā€™t believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think Iā€™m going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but thatā€™s okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I wonā€™t forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
June 2021

Kripp saved my life; Rania saved my sanity

twitchquotes: I discovered Kripp after a terrible car accident. I was n a coma for weeks. One day, the nurse decided to play Twitch in the room, specifically to Kripp's channel. I immediately awoke. I went to mute the channel, but it was then that Rania brought Kripp his food, saving me the effort. Kripp saved my life. Rania saved my sanity.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Among us has ruined a generation

Among us has ruined a generation. Everywhere I go, I see their divisor. It can't be stopped. I go shopping and I find among us mini figures. I look online for a better bin, and then I find a trash can with a red colour, and I can't stop myself saying "HAHA THATS A BIT SUSSY!" I look for champion clothes, but hold on- if you rotate the c it turns into- oh no... Gen Z wont stop saying a sentence without the word SUS in it. SOS? SUS. I go to Mcdonalds to cheer myself up, but while browsing through my phone, I find that a nugget in the shape of AMOGUS sold for over $1000 dollars, I only wanted peace, but innersloth has become a bit sussy.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Don't install Talking Roby

When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called ā€œTalking Roby The Robotā€, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words ā€œsing like dickā€. The robot said ā€œsing like dickā€. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldnā€™t move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said ā€œsing like dickā€. I was crying in fear, ā€œis this a nightmare?ā€ I asked. Roby said ā€œnoā€. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: ā€œ666ā€. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Donā€™t install Talking Roby.
February 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing