twitchquotes:
༼ຈل͜├┬┴┬┴ Psst… Moderator, you wanna buy some dongers?
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Infinite poop
twitchquotes:
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
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Classic
Cybrix and Head Chef of Dominos
twitchquotes:
OpieOP Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ， ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ ｔｈｅ Ｈｅａｄ Ｃｈｅｆ ｏｆ Ｄｏｍｉｎｏｓ™ ｗｅ ｈａｖｅ ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ ｏｒｄｅｒｅｄ ｆｏｒ ２ ｄａｙｓ， ｗｅ’ｒｅ ｊｕｓｔ ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｓｅｅ ｉｆ ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ ｉｓ ｏｋａｙ ａｎｄ ｗｅ’ｖｅ ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ ｙｏｕ ａ ｃｏｍｐｌｅｍｅｎｔａｒｙ ｐｉｚｚａ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ ｔｙｐｅ （ＸＸＬ ａｌｌ－ｔｏｐｐｉｎｇｓ ｐｉｚｚａ－ｔｏｐｐｅｄ ｐｉｚｚａ ｐｉｚｚａ－ｓｔｕｆｆｅｄ ｐｉｚｚａ ｃｒｕｓｔ）． Ｓｅｅ ｙｏｕ ｓｏｏｎ！ OpieOP
OpieOP Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ， ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ ｔｈｅ Ｈｅａｄ Ｃｈｅｆ ｏｆ Ｄｏｍｉｎｏｓ™ ｗｅ ｈａｖｅ ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ ｏｒｄｅｒｅｄ ｆｏｒ ２ ｄａｙｓ， ｗｅ’ｒｅ ｊｕｓｔ ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｓｅｅ ｉｆ ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ ｉｓ ｏｋａｙ ａｎｄ ｗｅ’ｖｅ ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ ｙｏｕ ａ ｃｏｍｐｌｅｍｅｎｔａｒｙ ｐｉｚｚａ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ ｔｙｐｅ （ＸＸＬ ａｌｌ－ｔｏｐｐｉｎｇｓ ｐｉｚｚａ－ｔｏｐｐｅｄ ｐｉｚｚａ ｐｉｚｚａ－ｓｔｕｆｆｅｄ ｐｉｚｚａ ｃｒｕｓｔ）． Ｓｅｅ ｙｏｕ ｓｏｏｎ！ OpieOP
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Kripp
Oh god I want xqc so bad
twitchquotes:
Oh god I want xqc so bad 😩 💦 he's so smart 🤓 📚 and cute 😘 🙈 I would take him to my apartment and kiss him 👄 😘 lick him 👅 😛 and finger him 
👌 I would fuck him 🍆 💦 then I'd get him pregnant 🤰 👶 and we'd raise our own little baby 👨👨👦 👦 and play fortnite with him 🎮 ⌨️ xd
👌 I would fuck him 🍆 💦 then I'd get him pregnant 🤰 👶 and we'd raise our own little baby 👨👨👦 👦 and play fortnite with him 🎮 ⌨️ xd
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xQcOW
Emoji Pasta
Pornhub "Finna Nut" button
My 86-year-old grandmother replied "OK, boomer" to my boomer aunt in an argument
Backstory: I live round the corner from my gran and visit her often so thanks to me she has a vague grasp of what memes are and how they work. The other day when I was round at hers and she asked what memes were popular at the moment so I told her about the "OK boomer" meme. She knew what boomers were already so she was able to get the concept of this meme fairly easily.
Fast forward to today, I'm over at my gran's again, and she's on the phone to my aunt. They got into a disagreement over a slightly racist comment my aunt made the other day (my gran is very much against racism) and my gran eventually just said "OK boomer" and hung up.
I've never been so proud.
UPDATE: So I told my gran about this post and the reaction it got - she said she's glad that so many of you enjoyed her little joke and that it proves she's still young at heart. I agree with that 100%.