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༼ຈل͜├┬┴┬┴ Psst… Moderator, you wanna buy some dongers?
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(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him.
All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry."
You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?"
Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream.
You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas.
In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow.
YOLO you whisper.
WallStreetBets
amogus made people think I'm racist
My teacher was showing us a video and the narrator was some Indian guy with a heavy accent. My friend was smiling and I smiled back. The teacher caught us and told us not to make fun of people's accents. I did genuinely felt sorry so I tried to be serious. Then my mind started thinking about dumb shit and I was trying to not laugh. I told myself to be serious then my mind fucking thinks "amogus". I couldn't hold it in anymore and laughed loud enough to get everyone's attention. Now everyone thinks I was laughing at the Indian guy and that I'm racist.
Among Us / Amogus
We will not go quietly into the night!
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We will not go quietly into the night! 
We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today, we celebrate our Independence Day! BROTHERS, HOLD THE LINE 🏥 _🔪
We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today, we celebrate our Independence Day! BROTHERS, HOLD THE LINE 🏥 _🔪
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Kripp
Yo boys u ready for the perfect pyramid LUL ?
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Yo boys u ready for the perfect pyramid 
? I’m a god xDxDxD xD look at the most perfect pyramid. Try like me! Can’t without dank meme And now look it will be o very tall Can you do a 5 line pyramid? What about 6 lines XD Try it! Copy it! Here it’s 8 it is 9!
? I’m a god xDxDxD xD look at the most perfect pyramid. Try like me! Can’t without dank meme And now look it will be o very tall Can you do a 5 line pyramid? What about 6 lines XD Try it! Copy it! Here it’s 8 it is 9!
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Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend
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Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend. I dont know why she choosed a 5´6 peanut looking guy over me (Im a 6´7 College athlete and i bench press 500 pounds) but im glad she came around a good fella like you. Remember she like watching at sunsets and reciving chin kisses! Have a good one Buddy!
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Tyler1