[Copypasta] Wanna buy some dongers?

twitchquotes: ༼ຈل͜├┬┴┬┴ Psst… Moderator, you wanna buy some dongers?
twitch chat
January 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

amogus made people think I'm racist

My teacher was showing us a video and the narrator was some Indian guy with a heavy accent. My friend was smiling and I smiled back. The teacher caught us and told us not to make fun of people's accents. I did genuinely felt sorry so I tried to be serious. Then my mind started thinking about dumb shit and I was trying to not laugh. I told myself to be serious then my mind fucking thinks "amogus". I couldn't hold it in anymore and laughed loud enough to get everyone's attention. Now everyone thinks I was laughing at the Indian guy and that I'm racist.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

We will not go quietly into the night!

twitchquotes: We will not go quietly into the night! WutFace We will not vanish without a fight! WutFace We’re going to live on! WutFace We’re going to survive! WutFace Today, we celebrate our Independence Day! WutFace BROTHERS, HOLD THE LINE 🏥 WutFace _🔪
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Yo boys u ready for the perfect pyramid LUL ?

twitchquotes: Yo boys u ready for the perfect pyramid LUL ? I’m a god xDxDxD LUL xD look at the most perfect LUL pyramid. LUL LUL Try like me! Can’t without dank meme LUL LUL LUL And now look it will be o very tall LUL LUL LUL LUL Can you do a 5 line pyramid? LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL What about 6 lines XD LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL Try it! Copy it! LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL Here it’s 8 LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL it is 9! LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL
twitch chat
May 2019

Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend. I dont know why she choosed a 5´6 peanut looking guy over me (Im a 6´7 College athlete and i bench press 500 pounds) but im glad she came around a good fella like you. Remember she like watching at sunsets and reciving chin kisses! Have a good one Buddy!
twitch chat
October 2018
Tyler1
Text-to-Speech Playing