twitchquotes:
My e-girl e-cheated on me after an entire e-day of e-dating and now I'm e-sad. On another e-note, e-girls please send in your e-resumes, I am currently looking to e-fill an e-position.
twitch chat
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
What's that?
twitchquotes:
"Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
Kripp
Pizza anytime
twitchquotes:
ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀᴀᴀᴀ. ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ᴀᴛ sᴜᴘᴘᴇʀᴛɪᴍᴇ. ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀs ᴏɴ ᴀ ʙᴀɢᴇʟ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴇᴀᴛ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ᴀɴʏᴛɪᴍᴇ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
twitch chat
Kripp
A severe lack of cute emotes in chat
twitchquotes:
Konichiwa Kripp-kun 
. This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
. This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
twitch chat
Kripp
Weebs
Classic
voting booth inspection is not required
twitchquotes:
So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!
twitch chat
2020 US Election
"Soul" in any sense, metaphorical, spiritual or religious, does not exist
"Soul" in any sense, metaphorical, spiritual or religious, does not exist. What simpletons experience, specifically in the sense of a game having a "soul" is a feeling of comfort, enjoyment and fulfillment (among other positive feelings). Those simpletons, usually rarely experience such feeling, especially outside of gaming, and cannot comprehend that non simpletons can find positive feelings and emotion in many games (as well outside of gaming). You're a prime example of such creature, and the most fascinating part is you do not even understand or comprehend how wasted and useless your mind is. Truly a wonder to behold and a warning for all parents.