twitchquotes:
My e-girl e-cheated on me after an entire e-day of e-dating and now I'm e-sad. On another e-note, e-girls please send in your e-resumes, I am currently looking to e-fill an e-position.
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I just fired out why they call them Brokers
I just figured out why they call them āBrokersā
WallStreetBets
Steve from Big Juicy Vegetables
twitchquotes:
Hello, Mr. Veganarrian, it's Steve from Big Juicy Vegetables. We prepared your package containing: Extra Thicc 30cm Cucumber and Huge Fat Watermelon with hole. You can come to pick it up any time, and we recommend you to bring your slave Rania because package is heavy. Have a nice day and go green!
twitch chat
Kripp
Own a musket for home defense
twitchquotes:
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
twitch chat
Kripp, this is Lucky Sanders!
twitchquotes:
Oh my god, Kripp, I've finally found you! This is Lucky Sanders! We served together in 'Nam, remember? I was the field medic in your squad! Man, I remember how you used to always volunteer to take out those Charlie sharpshooters even though I said I could handle them with my M60. "Never, Lucky," you would say. "You're too valuable to the squad." I saw you swim through stream after stream, leaving a trail of dead snipers behind you. Thank you, Kripp. You fought that war perfectly.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin
I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin
I donāt know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe itās my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally Iāll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then Iāll walk around my house and pick up various different ātrinketsā and put them in my bag while saying stuff like āIāll be having thatā and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (ātrinketsā can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. Iām 99% sure they donāt know itās me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.