[Copypasta] My e-girl e-cheated on me

twitchquotes: My e-girl e-cheated on me after an entire e-day of e-dating and now I'm e-sad. On another e-note, e-girls please send in your e-resumes, I am currently looking to e-fill an e-position.
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

Lapras

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣶⣶⣶⣾⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣻⣿⣿⢿⣫⣽⣶⣶⣾⣭⣻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢿⣭⡻⡇⣿⣿⠿⣟⣻⣯⣭⣭⣭⣥⡟⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡞⣿⣿⣾⣭⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣟⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⢹ ⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿ ⣿⣟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣷⣿⣿⠿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣻⡿⢿⣟⣫⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢟⣯⡆⠄⠻⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣭⣥⣭⣦⣴⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣛⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣿⣿⣽⣳⢾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣭⣽⣿⣯⣭⣿⣾⣿⣿⠁⣿⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

Pokemon

I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021

Windmill of Friendship

twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Statue for Hitler's assassin

Has anyone noticed this bullshit? It's honestly unfair how people like Churchill and Roosevelt got honoured for their leadership during WW2, but once you mention that Hitler's assassin should get honored as well, everybody fucking gets mad and starts calling you names. I cannot believe that people haven't honored Adolf in any way, shape or form for killing Hitler! I think one way we should honor Adolf is by building a giant statue of him in Berlin, the place where he killed Hitler by shooting him in the head, but the goddamn liberals aren't letting us do that! Instead, they claim that Adolf was "evil" and "a dictator", like bitch that's Hitler not Adolf you're mixing them up retard...
January 2021
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