twitchquotes:
My e-girl e-cheated on me after an entire e-day of e-dating and now I'm e-sad. On another e-note, e-girls please send in your e-resumes, I am currently looking to e-fill an e-position.
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Here in my garage
twitchquotes:
Here in my garage, just bought this new Lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Hollywood hills. But you know what I like more than materialistic things? Knowledge. In fact, I’m a lot more proud of these seven new bookshelves that I had to get installed to hold two thousand new books that I bought. It’s like the billionaire Warren Buffett says, “the more you learn, the more you earn.”
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Kripp, this is Aquaman, King of the Seas
twitchquotes:
Kripp, this is Aquaman, King of the Seas, and I need your help. The salinity of our oceans has reached an all-time low, and only you, with your incredible salt output, can restore them to their proper levels. The fate of countless species of fish and other marine life rests in your scrawny vegan hands. Lend me your aid and I will reveal the ancient Atlantean cure for male-pattern baldness! Aquaman out!
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Kripp
Ban one American, get the whole McDonald's
twitchquotes:
ban one american and you get the whole mcdonalds
ban one american and you get the whole mcdonalds
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MODS
Ban X Get The Whole Y
EU vs NA
KFC rejection letter
Hi Sophie,
Thank you for your application to Team KFC.
We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for.
But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future.
Best Wishes,
Team KFC
I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election
twitchquotes:
I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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