twitchquotes:
HahHaHahAhHAHA How the fuck is depression real? Just be happy 
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
ACHOO uh oh you just got the Delta variant!
ACHOO‼️🤧🤧What was that⁉️⁉️😏😏Uh-oh 😯 looks like you just got 👀👀 the Delta variant! 🙀😜😜 Don’t you know 🇺🇸⁉️🤢🤕🤒🤤 the world 🌍 HOE Organization 🙈👅 called it the most DOMINANT 👊🏼👊🏼 strain since the start of the 🗓 PANTIE-DEMIC 👄👌👈 No more touching daddy 😩😩 🧓🏼 until you wash 🧽🧽your dirty 🐾nasty 🤢 little 🤞🏼fingers ✋🏻🤚🏻✋🏻🤚🏻for 6️⃣9️⃣ seconds with sHOEp 🧼 and water 💧 👅 otherwise it doesn’t count 🤡🤡🤡 Time to stop 🛑 spreading the germs 🤮🥴🤒and start spreading 😧your legs🤤🦶🏽🦵🏻because everyone 👩🦰👨🏫🦹🏾♂️🧜🏼♂️has to keep TWERKING 😈😈from home! 🏡 SEND THIS TO 1️⃣0️⃣ other coronavirus cucks 👉🏾👌🏻otherwise Fuckboy Fauci 🙀🙀 is cumming for you 🍆🍑🍆
Emoji Pasta
Coronavirus
COVID
Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt
twitchquotes:
Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
Kripp
Kripp's MALDHAWK
twitchquotes:
Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
Kripp
Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
