twitchquotes:
thank you for slow mode. im an old man and chat scrolling so fast makes it hard to keep up. thank you again from a 56 year old veteran.
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I used to be a real ad
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I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West
I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
Kanye West
Last night I shoved live gerbils in my ass for the first time. AMA
I dream of becoming a carrot
twitchquotes:
I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
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Classic
KkonaW
⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⣦⣤⣤⣤⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻
⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⢶⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣶⣶
⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣯⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣯⣄⡘⢿⣿⣿⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠿⠋⠻⣿⣷⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⠿⠿⠏⠈⠀⣸⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⣀⡀⠐⠾⣷⣾⣿⣾⣷⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⣠⡆⢀⣼⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣾⣦⣾⣯⣌⣩⣥⣉⣠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠿
⣿⣿⣿⣍⣨⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠚⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⣠
Watch a middle aged man play a children's card game
twitchquotes:
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU PAY $5 A MONTH TO WATCH A MIDDLE AGED MAN PLAY A CHILDRENS CARTOON GAME
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU PAY $5 A MONTH TO WATCH A MIDDLE AGED MAN PLAY A CHILDRENS CARTOON GAME
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Kripp