[Copypasta] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
Famous line from the 2000 Gladiator film.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Obi Wan Shapiro

Okay, so let’s say hypothetically, these weren’t the droids you’re looking for. You see, the droids you’re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids you’re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids you’re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these aren’t the droid you’re looking for.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Greetings r/atheism

Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us. That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth! Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome. Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???
May 2022

Reddit

I Am Very Smart

Hydra

⠄⠄⣴⣶⣤⡤⠦⣤⣀⣤⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⣭⣭⣿⣶⣿⣦⣼⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣶⣦⠤⠄⡠⢾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⡛⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣟⠦⠄⣾⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⢿⣿⣧⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⢧⠄⢻⠻⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠢⣀⡀⠈⠙⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⠈⠄⠄⠡⠌⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣳⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣧⣶⣥⡤⢄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠘⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⣧⠈⢿⠿⠟⠛⠻⠿⠄⠄ ⠄⣰⣿⣿⠛⠻⣿⣿⡦⢹⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⢊⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⣠⣄⣾⠄⠄⠄ ⣠⣿⠿⠛⠄⢀⣿⣿⣷⠘⢿⣿⣦⡀⠄⢸⢿⣿⣿⣄⠄⣸⣿⣿⡇⣪⣿⡿⠿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡟⠌⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⣌⡇⠻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠐⣿⣿⡇⠄⠛⠻⢷⣄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠫⢿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣀⣤⣾⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣶⠄⠄⣶⠄⢶⣆⢀⣶⠂⣶⡶⠶⣦⡄⢰⣶⠶⢶⣦⠄⠄⣴⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠶⠶⣿⠄⠈⢻⣿⠁⠄⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⢸⣿⢶⣾⠏⠄⣸⣟⣹⣧⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠿⠄⠄⠿⠄⠄⠸⠿⠄⠄⠿⠷⠶⠿⠃⠸⠿⠄⠙⠷⠤⠿⠉⠉⠿⠆⠄⠄
ascii art
March 2020

fortnite is the best gaem ever

twitchquotes: fortnite is the best gaem ever because its literaly minecraft and pubg put together also you can do epic dances in fortnight. i can destinguish between a good game (forynite) and a bad one ,(blackops IIII) unlike all u stupid idiot trolls like come on im only 9 year sold
twitch chat
December 2018

Fortnite

I'm jealous of Kripp's gangsta lifestyle

twitchquotes: I'm jealous of Kripp's gangsta lifestyle ... the baller veganism ... the high fibre diet ... the dope falafel wraps. The dude is regular!
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing