[Copypasta] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
Famous line from the 2000 Gladiator film.
I used to be a real ad
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Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021

OhMyDog

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠿⢟⣠⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣤⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣷⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⡿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⡯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⣸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢿⡿⠿⢛⣟⠀⢸⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸ ⣷⣤⡀⣀⡀⣀⣴⣿⠀⠀⠘⣵⠀⣼⣏⢰⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣾⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
September 2020

Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up

I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up. The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers. But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian. But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you... BACK OFF... This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
September 2021
Maya

Simps

Does anyone else bite their Switch?

twitchquotes: Does anyone else bite their Switch? This is not a shitpost, I really do this. I don't like to rage when I'm playing online, so when something really annoying happens and I get pissed, I try not to yell or punch something. Instead, I keep a straight face and I angrily bite into my switch for a few seconds until my anger is released. The best part of this is that Nintendo seems to have built the Switch with this in mind, because the plastic material seems completely resistant to my teeth. Legit, there are never teeth marks even mere minutes after the initial chomp. What I'm wondering is, does anyone else here do the same? Am I the only munching smash player? I hope I've inspired someone to try the same, it's a super good way to take your anger out without damaging anything or making noise!
twitch chat
July 2020

boosted.dll

twitchquotes: Hi Micheal, it's Mark from ScreenColor LLC! We have identified your grey screen problem as being located in two files called "feed.dll" and "boosted.dll", you can safely delete them and it should be good!
twitch chat
December 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

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