[Copypasta] i just love typing in chat K A P P A

twitchquotes: i just love typing in chat K A P P A it makes me feel so safe and good inside, its almost like eating Fruit Loops(TM) with sum good ass milk watching Dexter's Laboratory (Cartoon Network back when it was good) on a Sunday Morning back when my parents were still together, so I will now do it: Kappa
twitch chat
August 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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NaCl deficiency disorder

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, your stream has changed my life completely. I suffer from severe NaCl (salt) deficiency disorder. I had to visit the hospital 5 times a week for salt injections. However, watching your stream supplies me enough salt through the screen. You saved me money time and effort. I can't thank you enough. I owe u my life.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

salty

Hey, I noticed you were a female

Hello, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this goddess is you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here in the Pakistan Official discord. I am quite popular around here in this server, so if you require guidance, please throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers... So rest assured that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider me a Player 2.. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together some time. I see you play mini games? I am a mini-game aficionado, so I would be happy to assist you in games. Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on that. I look forward to our future together (as friends of course.)
May 2021

Simps

Why do I keep hearing “pre madana” all the time?

Why do I keep hearing “pre madana” all the time? Did she use to do some other thing before she was famous or am I just dumb? Edit: I was just stupid Edit 2: which one of you reported me to Reddit resources or whatever??
July 2021

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep. I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed. What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.
October 2021

Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020
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