[Copypasta] I hate it when people type "xD"

twitchquotes: I hate it when people type "xD" :\
twitch chat
September 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros

twitchquotes: Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros. The only problem is that my horn on my head is soft and limp. As you may know this is very devastating to a rhino like myself. If there are any rhinos out there that can help me with my problem it would be appreciated. Please dont copy paste this. This is my story.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kolento

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021

This the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos. It is with great pain that I have to ask you to leave my country. Everyone is afraid of the "very casual looking man" with the "perverted fists." I am sorry but you're not welcome here anymore. No Copopolous Pastopolous Linguinoristopoulos
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Moai statue head

β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘΄β Šβ ‰β ‰β’‰β β »β£β ‘β’²β ’β €β£„β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£»β£Ώβ’Ÿβ£½β Ώβ ―β ›β‘Έβ’Ήβ €β’Ήβ ’β£Šβ‘‘β œβ “β ’β£„β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘œβ£Ώβ£·β£½β “β €β’ β’‚β££β ‹β ‚β£Ύβ Όβ’Œβ ³β’„β’€β‘ β œβ££β‘€β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β’ β’»β’±β£­β ·β €β’…β ΄β£‘β‘»β ƒβ €β’ β β €β’€β‘±β œβ β’”β Šβ €β Ήβ‘„β € β €β €β €β €β’€β£·β Œβ šβ ·β †β  β Άβ ­β’’β£β €β£€β ƒβ£€β’”β’‹β‘€β Šβ ‘β£„β ³β£„β €β£§β € β €β €β €β €β €β ‘β ¦β£€β‘€β£„β „β’„β£€β£ β£’β’¦β‘„β ©β ·β ¦β Šβ €β €β €β ˆβ £β‘β ’β£Ώβ € β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ’«β Ÿβ£β žβ£Όβ’²β‘žβ£žβ ‹β ‹β ‰β ‹β “β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β£¨β ‚β’Έβ‘… β €β €β €β €β €β£°β ƒβ‘¨β Šβ’€β‘ β‘Œβ’˜β’‡β žβ €β €β €β €β ‚β ‘β‘„β €β €β’€β žβ’β ”β’Ήβ‘‡ β €β €β €β €β£°β££β žβ’€β ”β’‘β’’β ‡β‘˜β Œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β  β‘Œβ ’β‘”β’β‘΄β β €β’Έβ ƒ β €β €β €β’ β Ÿβ β  β’Šβ ”β£‘β’Έβ €β ƒβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£―β ‚β‘€β’ͺβ‘€β €β €β’Έβ € β €β’€β ”β£β β ¨β €β €β ˆβ €β’„β ˜β‘€β €β ˆβ’†β €β €β €β €β‘ β’β œβ ™β’¦β ™β£¦β €β’Έβ € β‘΄β β ˜β‘β£€β‘‘β €β €β ΄β ’β —β ‹β ‰β ‰β‘†β €β †β „β „β ˜β €β‘Žβ €β €β €β ‘β’…β ‘β’Όβ‘€ β’―β£‰β£“β ’β ’β €β €β£„β£€β£€β£€β£€β‘€β β β €β €β €β ’β €β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β ‘β£Œβ£‡ β €β ˆβ’³β „β ˆβ €β €β’„β£€β €β’ˆβ£‰β‘Ήβ ―β‘Ÿβ β €β €β €β €β’Έβ €β €β ‚β €β €β‘ β šβ£‘β‘Ώ β €β’ β£‹β£€β£€β£€β£€β €β ­β’›β‘©β „β ’β ©β ‚β’€β „β €β €β €β ˆβ’’β‘€β €β‘ β ‹β‘©β ‹β €β’³ β €β’Ήβ €β ¬β €β ¬β ­β£‰β£‰β’ƒβ €β €β£€β£€β €β β €β €β €β €β‘žβ’Ίβ‘ˆβ ‹β‘’β Šβ €β €β €β’Έ β €β ˆβ‘†β β’€β €β €β €β ‰β ‹β ‰β “β ‚β €β£€β‘€β €β €β €β €β‘§β Šβ‘ β ¦β‘ˆβ ³β’„β €β €β ˆ β €β €β’Ήβ‘œβ €β β €β €β ’β’€β‘„β €β ”β Άβ ’β ›β §β €β €β‘Όβ‘ β Šβ €β €β ™β’¦β‘ˆβ ³β‘„β € β €β €β’Έβ †β €β ˆβ €β  β €β ˆβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘œβ’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β ‘β’„β ˆβ’² β €β €β’Έβ’€β ‡β €β €β €β €β’€β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘„β Šβ’ β ƒβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ‘’β£Έ β €β €β ˆβ ³β£€β£„β‘€β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β ‰β β ’β β €β  β£β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£”β Ύβ‘Ώβ ƒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠒⠀⠀⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⣔⣒⣀⣉⣂⣀⣀⣠⠴⠿⠛⠋⠀
ascii art
October 2021

Twin Towers

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–Œβ–„β–„β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–“β–Œβ–‘β–β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–„β–„β–Œβ–‘ β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–β–“β–Œβ–„β–β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–β–“β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–β–’β–Œβ–β–Œβ–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–„β–“β–„β–„ β–“β–“β–Œβ–β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–β–’β–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
ascii art
April 2018
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing