[Copypasta] NOT EVERYONE CAN WEAR HAT

twitchquotes: PartyHat NOT EVERYONE IN THE CHAT CAN WEAR HAT FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Reynad the Saltnosed Streamer

twitchquotes: ส• อกโ—Š อœโ—‰ อกโ—Š ส” Reynad the Saltnosed Streamer, had a very Salty Nose. All of the other Streamers laughed and used to call him names. BibleThump Then one salty Krippmas Eve, Forsen came to say, "Reynad with your salt so bright, won't you topdeck my sleigh tonight?" Then all Streamers loved him as they jerked off with glee, Reynad the Saltnosed Streamer, you'll go down in history! ส• อกโ—Š อœโ—‰ อกโ—Š ส”
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

salty

Two beefy cholos

twitchquotes: tbBaconBiscuit Asked for two beefy cholos at taco bell, I'm so embarrassed, I thought it was a menu item, instead two chefs came out from the back and massaged my prostate tbBaconBiscuit
twitch chat
March 2016
Dyrus

Fail Whale

โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–„โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–„โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–โ–Œโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
ascii art
December 2017

I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze

twitchquotes: I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze. Her colored hair gives of the scent of strawberries in bloom, and her pink gun leaves a smell of bubblegum when shot. Her body smells of sweat, and a strong womanhood. I would love to stuff my head right into her armpit and smother myself. To smell her tomboyish energy. I would die for this..
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

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