[Copypasta] Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you

twitchquotes: Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you. Every morning I wake up and wash my adderall down with GFUEL™️, I have a python script that uploads my gameplay directly to reddit and I have amassed over 3 million karma. I only have TTV in my name ironically but also I have a stream PogChamp. If my ping were lower I would literally never lose, my 80% headshot percentage (op included) always carries my team. Let's be honest LUL you will probably never be on my level because of my insane natural talent.
twitch chat
August 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Sleeping naked is a power move anyways

Sleeping naked is a power move anyways. • ⁠Burglar breaks in boom I’m up and naked. He’s too distracted trying to determine if I’m a man or woman because of my massive bush to notice me reaching for my glock fawty. ⁠• ⁠When I pee or poop in my sleep from the nightmares I don’t get any clothes dirty just the sheets. • ⁠Save money on not having to run an AC in the summer time so I can buy my wife more lingerie for her boyfriend to appreciate.
August 2021

VI VON ZULUL

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠄⠐⠠⢀⠄⠄⠄⢀⡘⢦⡀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣤⣦⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⡄⠄⠑⠄⠄⠐⠑⠄⣽⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠈⡀⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⢗⡀⠄⣠⡀⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⠄⠄⠄⣠⡀⡄⠄⠄⢎⣿⡶⢶⠄⡃⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠁⠁⠈⠉⠉⢚⣍⣩⡀⠄⢀⠄⠺⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⢒⡛⡛⠛⠛⢿⡁⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⣠⡄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠉⢉⡉⡉⠁⠄⠁⢠⡎⠄⣀⢰⣿⠁⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⡇⢢⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠁⢠⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⣿⣿ ⣏⢀⠄⠄⢈⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠛⠛⢛⣟⡛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⢈⠉⠁⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣟⣿
ascii art
November 2018
Forsen

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

First, some perspective. I'm a PURIFY-PRIEST player

twitchquotes: First, some perspective. I'm a PURIFY-PRIEST player. If you don't know what that is, it's not important, just know it's a deck I'm very passionate about and that I've played for three years now. That's right, I've played the same deck for the years, and it's never gotten stale. Why? Because the enjoyment comes from mastering the deck, from fine tuning my decision making, my sequencing, from learning how to play around the latest and greatest shenanigans.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I'M MOVING TO HAWAII AND FINALLY LEAVE THE USA!

twitchquotes: RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED, I absolutely don't want to live in this nation where our GREAT PRESIDENT TRUMP is getting ROBBED! This is absolutely the final straw, my KIDS ARE IN DANGER and I won't live in this nation another day! I'M MOVING TO HAWAII AND FINALLY LEAVE THE USA!!!
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

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