[Copypasta] Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

Team Bull vs Team Bear

Team Bull Jerome "We print it digitally" Powell Elon "TSLA stonk too low imo" Musk Nancy "Stimulus talks going well" Pelosi Donny "Stop the count" Mango Janet "Unlimited QE bitch" Yellen Lisa "Su Bae" Su Ryan "Make Gamestop great again" Cohen ------------------------------------------------------------------------ VS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Team Bear Jeff "No stock split to keep the poors out" Bezos Mitch "Stimulus talks not going well" Mcconnell Steven "Discontinue the PPP" Mnuchin Andrew "PlTr PrIcE tArGeT $10" Left Tim "Don't call me by my slave name" Apple Michael "I'm publicly shorting TSLA" Burry Warren "I fought in the Civil War" Buffet Which team will win? Team Bull or Team Bear? Load up on weeklies for a ticket to the pay per view hell in the cell match. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Special Guests: That one JPM analyst with TSLA 90p 12/18 Life savings SPCE calls guy Jim "FUCK ROBINHOOD" Cramer
December 2020

WallStreetBets

GME revamp

GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Drunk at Applebees

I don’t care if there’s a microchip in the vaccine. I’d let them put a whole MacBook Pro inside of me if it meant I could get drunk at Applebees again
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor

Just heard an employee use the “F word” on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but don’t you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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