Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
I used to be a real ad
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Robinhood halts trading on President's Day
This is bullshit. Iβm disgusted and Iβm honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itβs halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenβt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadβs wifeβs girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iβm seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iβm low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheβs giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itβs still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itβs time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itβs 2021 you bigots.
WallStreetBets
game of doctor
when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called βdoctorβ basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. donβt even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
WallStreetBets
Holding Galactic Virgins
Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces itβs changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution.
Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex
WallStreetBets
NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.
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NOT. FUCKING. SELLING.
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NOT PRESSING βSELLβ ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE.
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IβLL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US.
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CANβT STOP. WONβT STOP. GAMESTOP.
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TOMORROW, I THINK IβLL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO.
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IβLL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND ITβS GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND.
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I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND IβM NOT SELLING, AND IβM NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!!
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WallStreetBets
Bloomberg terminal vs toilet trading
Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.