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More WallStreetBets Copypastas
My wife told me to talk dirty to her
So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said âdirtier!â So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said âdirtier!â So I said âIâm gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. Iâm gonna put it in long and deep. Iâm gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.â
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think weâre getting a divorce.
So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said âdirtier!â So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said âdirtier!â So I said âIâm gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. Iâm gonna put it in long and deep. Iâm gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.â
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think weâre getting a divorce.
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheâs humming a song you canât quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. âWhat do you want for Christmas?â You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. âNothing, really.â
âNothing?â She crawls into bed and touches your leg. âAre you sure?â Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyâll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, âWhatâs wrong?â
Stonks only go up.
But you donât.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheâs humming a song you canât quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. âWhat do you want for Christmas?â You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. âNothing, really.â
âNothing?â She crawls into bed and touches your leg. âAre you sure?â Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyâll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, âWhatâs wrong?â
Stonks only go up.
But you donât.
game of doctor
when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called âdoctorâ basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. donât even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called âdoctorâ basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. donât even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
Stimulus talks going well in 2946
The year is 2946, Robot Mitch McConnel and Cyborg Nancy Pelosi report stimulus talks going well.
The Dow rewards them and hits 6.02 x 1023.
The year is 2946, Robot Mitch McConnel and Cyborg Nancy Pelosi report stimulus talks going well.
The Dow rewards them and hits 6.02 x 1023.
GME bank consultation
Short story-time for amusement reasons only:
some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyâre trading/Iâm buying.
So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donât exactly know whatâs going on, itâs all pretty crazy to me).
Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is âtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketâ. They are âaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEâ. They acted as if GME was some âchildish financial playgroundâ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how âGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeâ.
I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
Short story-time for amusement reasons only:
some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyâre trading/Iâm buying.
So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donât exactly know whatâs going on, itâs all pretty crazy to me).
Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is âtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketâ. They are âaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEâ. They acted as if GME was some âchildish financial playgroundâ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how âGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeâ.
I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
