Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
MSFT Infinite Money Glitch πππ
Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor.
Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good βol WSB days?
Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies π
Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle.
Step 1: Use Wifeβs Tinder Account
Step 2: Match with Bill Gates
Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup
Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty
Step 5: Continue to date wife
Step 6: Cash out πππ
For those too retarded to read:
https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57
Congratulations. You are now your own wifeβs boyfriend.
WallStreetBets
Classic
Wallstreetbet's Christmas break
Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
WallStreetBets
I just smashed my TV because of the SPY
I just smashed my TV in front of 30 guests at my house because of the SPY. My wife just took our crying kids and said theyβre all spending the week at a hotel. This sub has ruined my life and my party. I canβt handle this anymore. Goodbye Powell. I am no longer a fan.
WallStreetBets
GME stock and WSB vs short sellers
Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles.
Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches.
Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of.
That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
WallStreetBets
GME short squeeze
Lets dumb this down for you apes:
- Let's say 5 banana's currently cost 10 dollar
- One ape on the market has 5 banana's
- Snake asks to borrow 5 banana's for a bit and instead sells the 5 banana's thinking price will go down soon (shorting). he thinks he can buy them later for less and give them back to ape, so he make's profit on the difference.
- Group of apes notice what stupid snakes are doing and decide to buy all banana's on the market until snakes have no other choice than to buy from the group of apes in order to return what they borrowed
- If group of apes stay strong then price will go πππ