[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The ultimate tool to win any argument you're in, works even if you're losing

That's a nice argument you have, but unfortunately, I had sexual intercourse with your mother, therefore rendering any point you make null.
May 2021

My son, why did you tap last?

twitchquotes: In Romanian village there is very little water. Papparian is thirsty and asks Kripparian to get some water for him from the water tap 2 miles away. Kripp decides to go to the store first. A few hours later Kripp brings Papparian his water, only to find Papparian has had a heat stroke. With his dying breath, Papparian asks "My son, why did you tap last?"
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Henry Dongerman and his pet donger Mr Mittens

twitchquotes: Hey my name is Henry Dongerman I lost my pet donger. Here's a picture of him [ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ] if you can help find him I would be eternally grateful he means the world to me. Mr. Mittens is his name if it helps share this around and pray to lord donger to help find him. His favorite song is ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ HARDER BETTER FASTER DONGER ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ so try playing that he may come
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Al salem Kripperion!

twitchquotes: Al salem Kripperion! This be brother Al-Saq-Quadir Prince of Oilrabia, in my country we don't have currency, we only trade in brofist. You have a magnificent one krippFist, I be prepared to offer 50 million USD for your amputated right hand forever preserved while brofisting, thank you for understanding Kripp, and see you in my dungeon.
twitch chat
June 2015
Kripp

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and I’m a fucking Twittard but I don’t care, I’m the richest man on Earth. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Technoking of Tesla” and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you can’t accept me you’re a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
April 2022

I sexually Identify as

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