[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
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Investing in gourd futures

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi

Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashi’ll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashi’ve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasu’d before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosu’s the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. You’re fucking shinimashita’d, akachan.
June 2021

Weebs

Anime girl

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–β–€β–β–€β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–Œβ–β–€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ
November 2014

Weebs

Cock and ball torture

Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.[1] The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.
August 2021

NSFW

TURN CHAT INTO WEEB MODE

twitchquotes: TehePelo TURN TehePelo CHAT TehePelo TO TehePelo WEEB TehePelo MODE TehePelo
twitch chat
April 2017

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing