[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
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More Copypastas

As soon as you stop being hardcore

twitchquotes: "H-h-ey Rania, could we go on a date when I visit Europe for ESGN?" Kripp blushes as he asks him timidly over skype. "It doesn't have to be serious, just coffee or something." Rania smirks. "Sure Kripp, as soon as you stop being hardcore," She types while tucking Frump
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Making poops of different shapes

twitchquotes: Sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ I ᴘᴏᴏᴘ, I ᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴀᴘɪɴɢ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄʜᴍᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍʏ ᴏʟᴅ Pʟᴀʏ Dᴏʜ ғᴜɴ sᴇᴛ. I ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴀɴᴜs, ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴘᴏᴏᴘs ɪɴ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ sʜᴀᴘᴇs. Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. I'ᴍ ᴀɴ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ, ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪғ I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴏᴏᴘs sʜᴀᴘᴇᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ sᴛᴀʀs, I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ. Tʜᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅɪɴɢ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ɪᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀʏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

AngelThump v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⣠⣤⣄⡀⠙⢿⡿⠛⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢠⣶⣦⡈⠃⡠⡺⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠦⠀⢠⣾⣿⣆⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿⡟⢠⠸⠟⠈⠛⠛⠛⠸⠿⡀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣧⣈⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⠿⠟⢋⣠⣾⣿⣿⢿⣻⣇⢸⡀⠀⢸⣦⣤⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠙ ⣀⠚⠛⠛⣽⡿⠃⠛⣠⣤⡀⠃⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⢀⣴⣦⣙⣘⠛⠗⢉⣁⣴ ⣿⣿⣿⣤⣁⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠙⠛⠛⠛⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿
November 2020

Stimulus hopes in the year is 2025

The year is 2025. House speaker Nancy pelosi's brain jar has agreed with Mitch McConnell's new human skinbody to vote on the $12 covid stimulus package. This is the 37th revision to the package initially introduced in late 2020. One dollar will be split between all americans, two between all illegal immigrants, and the rest to Jeff bezos. Due to stimulus hopes, SPY has rallied to 600.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino

twitchquotes: Hello Gino "No Cappuccino" Pastarino here. I see you are using one of Reynad's copyrighted decks. You must pay...wait you are Reynadarino climbing ladderino? My badarino. Please forgivarino Lord Reynard. I give much love. Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino like you did last time-arino. With no cappucino Love, Gino Pastarino
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad
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