[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠻⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣰⡆⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣦⣄⣀⣤⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⡿⠃⠀⡾⠃⣰⠟⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠈⢿⡀⠈⢿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⢀⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⡄⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣶⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠻⠿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⢿⣿⡿⠿⠃⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⠛⠲⠦⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⠴⠖⠛⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢸⢧⣀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠈⠉⡏⠉⠀⢸⠀⠀⢀⣼⡇⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⣟⠀⠈⠉⣾⠳⠶⠤⣤⣧⠤⠴⢾⡗⠉⠉⠀⢇⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠙⠻⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠑⢶⣤⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⣷⣠⡴⠖⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⠋⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Weebs

Police clearing out a homeless encampment

On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and haven’t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

The pasta will be that pasta that you’ve spammed

twitchquotes: I looked at this pasta originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a pasta, and you spam this pasta. The pasta will be that pasta that you’ve spammed, so you’re spamming a pasta. So it is one thing to spam a pasta if your chat doesn’t really have any pasta. The pasta will screw up the pasta pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good pasta.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hey chat, take it easy please

twitchquotes: Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you.
twitch chat
May 2015
Tempo Storm

Kurumx's head with a bird

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣴⣶⣦⣍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣾⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢻⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⣩⣬⣭⠻⣿⣀⣿⣿⣿⢟⣤⠄⠈⠄⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣤⣒⠲⠶⢿⣘⣛⣻⠿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣷⣌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠈⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⢀⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣻ ⣿⣿⣯⢰⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠛⠻⠻⠻⢿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾ ⣿⡿⢿⡀⠄⠄⠈⠉⠻⠋⣧⠄⢀⠈⠉⠈⢀⣀⣤⣤⠄⠄⣀⣴⡦⣨⢻ ⣿⣧⣤⣭⡄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣦⢙⣿⣦⣼⣶⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⢻⣿⣯⣿ ⣿⣿⣝⣿⠏⢀⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢵⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠓⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡥⣬⣿⣿⠋⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠁⠄⠄⣊⣊⣐⣀⠄⢹⣿⣿⠿⢣⣲⣴⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⣍⣭⣿⣿⡟⠈⠁⢲⣡⡤⡙⢾⢿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣲⣿⣿⣿⡻⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2021
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

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