I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
What happened to this ad? :(
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Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma
FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... Iāve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
WallStreetBets
A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once
A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once. He comes is and is posturing like heās really tall and large but the guy couldnāt be more than 5ā4ā. The class starts and he is just sitting there in quietly staring forward in the front of the class with an awfully distorted picture of his face that said āThe required information is in the lab directionsā but he never handed us anything. This goes on for a minute until one of the talkative kids just asks if he is okay he hadnāt even taken a breath yet and veins were popping out of his neck and forehead. The moment the kid made a noise he stated wildly shaking his head around while making high pitched laser(?) sounds. Worst period of geology Iāve ever had. The rest was just him passing out the lab sheet but he would just hold it toward them motionless until they reached for it and he would snatch it away and laugh at them right in their face. Couldnāt find a more fucked guy if I tried. I'll edit in the image if anyone got a pic of it.
Jerma985
Greggnog
First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.
I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.
Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.
Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up."
I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight.
He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
Classic
I love watching QT games
twitchquotes:
I love watching QT games. It always shows me that no matter how far behind a team is, they can come back and stomp QT; truly inspiring.
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imaqtpie
League of Legends
PROCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA
twitchquotes:
PROTOCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA: 1 - Blame deck. 2 - If deck is good, blame RNG. 3 - If deck is good and RNG goes your way, blame going second. 4 - If deck is good, RNG goes your way, and went first, blame opponent's crazy deck/RNG/opponent topdecking answers. 5 - If all else fails, blame snipers with wild decks.
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Kripp