[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Fortnite default dance 11

⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣿⠛⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣀⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿ ⠉⠛⣿⣿⣶⣤ ⠀⠀⠉⠿⣿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠒⠿⠛⠉⠿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⠿⠿⠛
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November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

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I smoke the weed everyday

twitchquotes: I smoke the weed everyday, I too am a Marijuana consumer. 420 is my favourite number. By the way, did I mention that I hit that kush good. I'm so high right now, becuase of all the weed I smoke. 420 Blaze it fam, life is good.
twitch chat
August 2019

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021

I used to work at an abortion clinic

I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed: • ⁠A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight • ⁠A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor • ⁠They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name) • ⁠One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns • ⁠The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man • ⁠The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life" • ⁠The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos • ⁠The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy) • ⁠During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
August 2021

NSFW

Starege

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September 2021

Pepe

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