[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
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Dr DisRespect's speech

twitchquotes: let's talk about about me, let's talk about the 6'8 frame the 37 in verticle leap...the black steel that drapes down my back aka the bullet proof mullet, the google prototype scopes with built in LCD LED 1080p 3D sony technology. The Ethiopian poisonous catapillar aka SLICK DADDY. lets talk about the cabinets right behind me that go 40ft deep that house the other 95% of my trophies, the awards, the certificates, all claiming first place, right? Let me give you a little inside glimpse into the hotshot, video game life style of the two time of the international video game superstar. because thats what the channels about, thats what this domain is about, that is what society is about. you are looking at the new face of twitch and GODDAMN is twitch lucky... thats just off the top of my head
twitch chat
November 2018
DrDisRespectLIVE

Where are the DPS heroes

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I’m new to overwatch. Is there a reason that they aren’t using any damage heroes? How are they supposed to get kills without dps? Are they deleted or banned or something?
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Why does Kripp have the personality of an unflushed toilet?

twitchquotes: I don't get why Kripp has to have the personality of an unflushed toilet when he streams. At least when he's in mumble we can love to hate Cybrix. And a mumblebro or two spices things up. It gets old watching Kripp eat Greek food, mute his mic to kiss the succubus, and bitch about RNG.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!

So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
August 2021

Coronavirus

COVID

Vaccines

Pride month is over.

Pride month is over. pride month is over. All gay people instantly begin to spontaneously combust, trans people begin to morph into various citrus fruits and are sold as novelty items from a different time. Bisexual people are instantly split in half by the invisible blade of corporate disinterest and the non-bianries are legally banned from using the number 0 in any scenario. The pride flags and corporate twitter profile pictures are instantly detonated to make room for more advertisements, posters promoting diversity and inclusivity are ripped down and destroyed by once-inclusive teachers all across the country. and the price of lube decreases by an average of 76% worldwide. Pride month is over. Greed month is upon us. May all who savoured their taste of freedom, cower in the face of pure capitalism, and use the link https://nordvpn.com/superthrash767 when signing up to nord vpn...
July 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing