[Copypasta] Please help, when I sneeze, it sounds like I'm saying the n-word

I'm not sure what to do. For my early life, it wasn't a huge deal. I lived in a mostly white family who didn't really care, and I stayed home from school when I was sick. But now that I'm in college, I'm terrified of what it could mean. Doctors won't help me. Every time I've asked, they think I'm making it up and doing it on purpose, and now that I've moved, my doctor is this 6ft tall african-american man. I haven't been to a check-up in over a year. It's causing trouble with school too. The first instance was in chemistry. The professor told me to pass out some bunsen burners from the cabinet to the rest of the students. I got up and opened the cabinet, but it was super dusty inside, and before I could help myself, a huge sneeze forced itself out of my body. "N*GGA!" sounded across the classroom, and I just froze. My cheeks heated up as everyone just stared at me. I quickly said that I needed to go get a tissue and ran from the classroom. I was forced to have a meeting with my professor later, where she was adamant that she wouldn't have that kind of language in her classroom. I tried to explain that it was an accident and I didn't even have a reason to say the n-word while sneezing and gathering bunsen burners, but she was already mad so I think she zeroed in on my word choice and thought that I was inferring that other times I DID have a reason to say it. I didn't get kicked out but nobody wanted to partner with me for the rest of the semester, and I feel like the professor was a bit harsher on test questions. The most recent event happened only yesterday, and I'm terrified of what it could mean. I was in line at the Chick-fil-A in the cafeteria, feeling like shit. I'd been sick for a day or two, and normally I don't go out because of my unique problem, but I was starving and just needed to grab a quick bite. Right as I got up to the counter, I felt a sneeze coming on, and knew I was screwed. Here's the thing. When I'm sick, the issue is 10x worse. The phlegm or something in my throat makes the n-word sound come out with a lower, R-sound at the end instead of the gasp that normally makes the A. So I'm standing there, about to order my 8pc nugget, when I spasm and unleash a full forced "N****R!" across the entire cafeteria. Everybody heard it. Literally everybody. The girl at the counter, who unfortunately was black, just looked so hurt and angry at the same time, not to mention I think I may have sneezed a little on her. I turned and bolted from the cafeteria. I ran straight back to my dorm; I saw a group of guys trying to follow me, but they couldn't get in to my specific dorm building. I recognized a few of them from my chemistry class. I've been in my dorm ever since. I'm terrified of leaving. I'm positive that if they see me again, they'll kick the shit out of me. So that's my problem. I'm not sure how to prove my innocence and I don't think I'll survive another semester at this rate.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen. When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place. There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise. And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work. Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable. And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts. And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
September 2021

CHAT IS DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ CHAT IS DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

HotPokket

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠎⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⡲⣄⢄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⣷⢦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠆⣜⣵⣶⣦⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣦⡀⡂⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⡟⣰⣛⢁⡤⠭⡛⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠾⣿⣿⣶⡔⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢺⠿⣰⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣩⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⡛⠻⠷⣿⣿⣿⣗⢲ ⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⢸⣏⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠄⠸⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠈ ⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⣼⠃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣻⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡆⣻⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡿⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⡿⡇⣿⢹⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣑⣿⣿⣯⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢀⠃⠄⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣻⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠠⡀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄⢠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⠢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠠⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
December 2018

Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr

twitchquotes: Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr (2000+) FailFish keep chat high quality
twitch chat
June 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

God I want Zarya to be real

twitchquotes: God I want Zarya to be real, I want her large feet to smash my head. I want her muscular thighs to squash my head. It brings me to a near orgasmic feeling by just thinking about her and her muscular toned body. If Activision Blizzard made sexdolls, I would buy every Zarya model for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Fuck I just want Zarya to be real
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Text-to-Speech Playing