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[Copypasta]Red futures :(
Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him š
Iām a simple guy
Iām a simple guy. I donāt know about all these fancy āfinancial instrumentsā or āmarket dynamicsā or āwhere the clit is.ā
I like the stock, I buy the stock.
Iām a simple guy. I donāt know about all these fancy āfinancial instrumentsā or āmarket dynamicsā or āwhere the clit is.ā
I like the stock, I buy the stock.
Police clearing out a homeless encampment
On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and havenāt been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and havenāt been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Robinhood halts trading on President's Day
This is bullshit. Iām disgusted and Iām honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itās halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenāt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadās wifeās girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iām seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iām low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheās giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itās still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itās time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itās 2021 you bigots.
This is bullshit. Iām disgusted and Iām honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itās halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenāt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadās wifeās girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iām seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iām low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheās giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itās still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itās time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itās 2021 you bigots.
