[Copypasta] Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

Stimulus talks going well in 2946

The year is 2946, Robot Mitch McConnel and Cyborg Nancy Pelosi report stimulus talks going well. The Dow rewards them and hits 6.02 x 1023.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

My idiot boyfriend spent my college fund on dog coins how do I get it back???

He talked me into spending the $8500 I have on dog coins because something was supposed to happen yesterday which would have given us more money?? but it didn't actually happen or got canceled or something I don't really know or understand how it works but I went to the dog coin site to withdraw my money and there is only about $6700 of it there, where is the rest of it? I tried looking at the faq but don't really get it
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Jim Cramer responds to GameStop apes on Twitter

But you know what? I miss the good people whom i used to interact before these pathetic parodies of human minds ascended from the gates of hell. Well, now that i know they are going broke and just care about Gamestop and pump and dump schemes I will end their tyranny. NOW
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Ape rocket

๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿต๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing