[Copypasta] Trevor from ChatBotsForTwitch.com

twitchquotes: Hi [insert streamer name], this is Trevor from ChAtBotsForTwitch,com. We kindly request that if you're going to pay the extra to have our employees interact with your chat, you don't make fun of them. We know you have difficulty getting real viewers and it frustrates you, but please don't take it out on my employees. Thank you, Trevor.
twitch chat
March 2021

Classic

Waiting for adblock to be disabled
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I fucked Up DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
April 2022

Classic

Shane Dawson tweet - i didnt fuck my cat

i didnt fuck my cat. i didnt cum on my cat. i didnt put my dick anywhere near my cat. Ive never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself i wasnt going to make apology videos after last years thing so im just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible. (1/?)
March 2019

Classic

gachiGASM

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–„β–“β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–€β–’β–€β–’β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–“β–’β–“β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–€β–„β–’β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘
ascii art
April 2016

KappaPride

Classic

Do British people even exist?

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
December 2020

British People

Classic

It's funny seeing the minds in chat

twitchquotes: It's funny seeing the "minds" in chat entertained by a virtual children’s card game. 🀣 Whenever you idiots β€œPog Champ,” I am reading the works of Plato, etc. Guess who will get a better job in 5 years?
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

Hearthstone

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Text-to-Speech Playing