[Copypasta] Trolling My Church with Among Us

So today at church the pastor was preaching about the crucifixion of Jesus and when he said that Judas would betray Jesus, I blurted out "JUDAS IS THE IMPOSTER! HE'S SUS!" and did a big wide grin (like the "when the imposter is sus" meme). The pastor then said "What are you talking about?" So I yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING! HE DOESN'T GET THE AMONG US REFERENCE!" and then I explained the joke. The pastor, not amused, told me to sit down. I sat back down but then later when he said that Jesus was accused of blasphemy and crucified I couldn't contain myself and I yelled out "JESUS WAS NOT THE IMPOSTER!" and when the pastor told me to stop disrupting I said "THE PASTOR IS SUS, HE DOESN'T GET IT" and I then told everyone to download Reddit for funny Among Us memes. That's when the pastor told me to leave for causing disruptions. I said "WAIT! I'M NOT SUS THOUGH! WHY ARE YOU EJECTING ME?" and then I said "WHEN THE PASTOR IS SUS!" And did the hilarious grin from the meme. After that I got kicked out but it was worth it because I just trolled them all with Among Us.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

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More Among Us / Amogus Copypastas

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Amogus Army

𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Crewmate with feminine legs

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February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

The red bean character is very suspicious

Ok, so I was playing the hit game Among Us the other day, and when the game started, a red bean-shaped character that appeared to be wearing a spacesuit told me "shh," while having his index finger in front of where his mouth should be. I believe this act made this red bean character extremely suspicious. To understand why this red bean character is suspicious, we first must understand how the game “Among Us” works. The game consists of 10 bean-shaped characters, called crewmates, that are given tasks for them to complete. As these characters do their tasks, they may witness abnormal things that are not supposed to happen, such as the lights turning off on their own, sudden reactor meltdown and other crewmates dying. These acts show that there is an imposter among the crewmates that is sabotaging and is trying to kill everyone. Now why is this important to determine why the red bean is suspicious? Well now we know how the game works, now we must analyze the red bean’s actions. At the beginning of the game, the red bean tells us “shh” while having his index finger in front of where his mouth should be. This action suggests that the red bean wants us to be quiet, or keep our mouths shut. Now why would the red bean want us to do this? This could be because the red bean wants to limit our communication in order to prevent us from spreading information. What information does the red bean want to prevent from spreading? We can assume that the reason why the red bean wants to prevent us from spreading information, is because he is actually the imposter, and he is planning on committing the crimes mentioned earlier. He does not want others to find out about actions he will cause, therefore he does not want us to communicate with each other. This concludes the reason for why I believe the red bean from the hit game Among Us is suspicious. So if you happen to see a red bean-shaped character wearing a spacesuit, please be careful.
January 2024

Among Us / Amogus

Among Us is love, Among Us is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Among us so much; I had all the merchandise and the skins. I played Among us every night before bed. Thanking Among us for hours of entertainment I've been given. "Among us is love," I say, "Among us is life." My dad hears me and calls me, "A retard." I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Among us. I call him, "Sus." He slaps me and sends me to bed. I am crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. I feel a warmth move towards me. I feel something touch me. It's the Crewmates. I am so happy. They whisper in my ear, "Are you the imposter?" They grab me with their hard-working crewmate hands and put me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my asscheeks for the crewmates. They penetrate my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for the Among us characters. I can feel my rectum tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against their force. I want to please the crewmates. They roar a mighty roar as they fill my butthole with their love. My dad walks in. The crewmates look him straight in the eye and say, "It is all sussed now." The Among us characters leave through my window. Among us is love, Among us is life.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

NSFW

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