I'm starting to think the people telling me to buy BB at $20 were being serious about not being financial advisors
I used to be a real ad
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Wallstreetbet's Christmas break
Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
WallStreetBets
My idiot boyfriend spent my college fund on dog coins how do I get it back???
He talked me into spending the $8500 I have on dog coins because something was supposed to happen yesterday which would have given us more money?? but it didn't actually happen or got canceled or something I don't really know or understand how it works but I went to the dog coin site to withdraw my money and there is only about $6700 of it there, where is the rest of it? I tried looking at the faq but don't really get it
WallStreetBets
Classic
Which one of you got reddit to send me this
Which one of you fucks got reddit to send me this shit
"Hi there,
A concerned redditor reached out to us about you.
When you're in the middle of something painful, it may feel like you don't have a lot of options."
WallStreetBets
Bullish market makes me hard
When the stocks ππ go up ππΈ, my dick goes too πβ¬οΈπ³. Bullish π market π¬ makes me hard π¦΄π¦. All the countries π³οΈπ΄π΄ββ οΈππ©π³οΈβππ³οΈββ§οΈπΊπ³ try to recover π from corona π¦ so the money π°π΅πΈ flows π¬ into my pocket π³. Soon π there will be a crash πππ₯Ίπ and the bears π» will crawl πΌ out of their holes π³. Then they cut off my greedy dick βοΈππ©Έ if I donβt β eat βem out π
πΈ. I must turn into a bear πβ‘οΈπ» and make π€πΌ more money π°π΅πΈ and eat some honey π»π―. When Iβm done β
Iβll throw a party ππ·πΎ and eat your ass π
π.
Emoji Pasta
WallStreetBets
Apple announces an EV program
Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.