[Copypasta] In Korea, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

A variation of this copypasta: https://www.twitchquotes.com/copypastas/4462
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Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯ you β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

American website, American computers, American game

twitchquotes: Europoors hating on USA βœ“ on a American website βœ“ with American computers βœ“ on the American invented Internet βœ“ watching an American made game βœ“ From a country that was liberated and protected by America βœ“βœ“βœ“
twitch chat
June 2016

Classic

EU vs NA

Hey, Kripp! What's up man?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! What's up, man? It's Mike from Woman History class last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Leifman? She was a big girl hahah. You are such a dog. It's so cool to see you again. You have my numbah. Just hit me up, man.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Classic

Somewhere in a parallel universe, Europe didn't need to be saved by America

twitchquotes: β˜…γ€€γ€€β˜… Β° ☾ β˜† ΒΈ. ΒΈ γ€€β˜…γ€€ :.γ€€ . β€’ β—‹ Β° β˜…γ€€ .γ€€ *γ€€.γ€€.γ€€γ€€ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€ Β° γ€€ΒΈ. * ● ΒΈ .γ€€...somewhereγ€€γ€€γ€€Β° ☾ Β° γ€€ΒΈ. ● ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€Β° :.γ€€ . β€’ Β° γ€€ .γ€€ *γ€€:.γ€€.in a parallel universe* ● ΒΈ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€Β° ☾ Β°β˜† γ€€. * ΒΈ.γ€€γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€β˜… Β° . .γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€β˜Ύ Β°β˜† γ€€. * ● ΒΈ ..EUROPE...Β° β˜Ύγ€€β˜… °● ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€Β° :.γ€€ . β€’ β—‹ Β° β˜…γ€€ .γ€€ * DIDN'T NEED TO BE SAVED BY AMERICA β˜Ύγ€€β˜… °● ΒΈ .γ€€γ€€γ€€β˜…γ€€Β°
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

EU vs NA

AYAYA RUNNING LOW ON CUTIES

twitchquotes: MOSHI MOSHI πŸ“ž AYAYA RUNNING LOW ON CUTIES πŸ“ž AYAYA NEED BACKUP πŸ“ž AYAYA ARIGATO πŸ“ž AYAYA
twitch chat
April 2019

Weebs

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