[Copypasta] In Korea, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

A variation of this copypasta: https://www.twitchquotes.com/copypastas/4462
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gachiGASM

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
April 2016

KappaPride

Classic

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

I dream of becoming a carrot

twitchquotes: I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
twitch chat
May 2016

Classic

Wasting time on Twitch, must be me

twitchquotes: No job โœ”๏ธ 4Head No girlfriend โœ”๏ธ 4Head No friends โœ”๏ธ 4Head No talents โœ”๏ธ 4Head Wasting time on Twitch โœ”๏ธ 4Head Must be me 4Head
twitch chat
May 2017

Classic

Hey, Kripp! What's up man?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! What's up, man? It's Mike from Woman History class last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Leifman? She was a big girl hahah. You are such a dog. It's so cool to see you again. You have my numbah. Just hit me up, man.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

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