[Copypasta] I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
April 2021
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More Copypastas

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot

I would like to inform you that I busted a huge nut to your shot. My earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen anyone in the near vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or will ever produce, shot out so hard that it ripped my dick apart by my übernut accelerating to 7% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused my building to collapse, and every female in the city to fall pregnant with my children. As I lay dying under the rubble, I rest assured knowing every one of my sons will repeat this glorious act.
January 2024

KKomrade

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⢲⣿⡖⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣄⣤⣶⡿⡗⠐⠂⠒⠒⠐⠒⠒⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢛⣩⣾⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⣋⣵⣶⣿⡿⠛⠑⢀⣴⣶⣶⡶⠒⠛⠒⠂⠿⠻⠟⠒⠒⠶⣶⣶⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠴⠔⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⣰⣶⣀⠀⢰⣶⣾⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣱⣴⣰⡔⡿⢟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⢃⣾⡿⢗⣡⣴⣜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⡌⠛⠈⢹⣿⡻⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⢉⣉⣓⣒⣛⡛⠛⠀⣸⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣶⣾⣍⣉⣠⣾⣾⠿⠏⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠻⣿⡿⠁⡈⢿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣈⡹⠛⠁⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡁⠀⠃⠈⠻⠿⠿⠫⠟⠟⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠠⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

I’ll be in Rania’s chat from now on

twitchquotes: If you need me, I’ll be in Rania’s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And I’ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said I’m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a salty balding vegan.
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Simps

Why do so many people watch this washed up player?

twitchquotes: Why do so many people watch this washed up player? He is so bad at this game. Why is his hair so long? Does hair length have a connection to a players skill? Is that why girls are so bad at league?
twitch chat
December 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Stabbed with Kniferino made out of an OJ Carton

twitchquotes: Oᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ Mᴏʀᴏsᴀɴ, ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪsᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ᴀs Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ʜᴀs ᴘᴀssᴇᴅ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ᴛʜɪs ᴛᴜᴇsᴅᴀʏ's ᴀғᴛᴇʀɴᴏᴏɴ. Hᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀᴍʙᴜsʜᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴀ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘ ᴏғ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴀʟʟᴇʏ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴛᴀʙʙᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴋɴɪғᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴀɴ OJ ᴄᴀʀᴛᴏɴ. RIP ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ ᴄᴀᴘᴘᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴘɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ, ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴀʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing