[Copypasta] I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hey Nairo this is your cat

twitchquotes: Hello @NairoMK , this is your cat, Mr. Fluffers, I heard that you were complaining about my excessive meowing. I don't complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub CoolCat
twitch chat
September 2018
NairoMK

Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre

let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
March 2022

Pokemon

This is the world we have wrought

twitchquotes: The year is 2129; humans can only communicate through increasingly garbled copy-pasta. A man approaches and says "ire: ███ 10 stroke dick ff ☑ EKT ☾ ☆ ¸. ?" In confusion, I reply "AT ASCII ຈل͜ل͜ຈຈ༽༽ノノ HA ʙᴏʟᴀ ヽ༼ಢ_ ♌ ❛ั∗)◞ TUCK F (◡‿◡✿)". This is the world we have wrought.
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Lenin

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⠶⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠷⠶⢶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣶⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣶⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⢠⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⡀⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠏⠛⠛⠿⣷⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⢦⣼⣿⣿⡔⣾⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⡟⢀⣤⣶⣶⠾⢿⣿⣷⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⢛⡿⢿⣷⡶⠦⣤⣄⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⠃⠄ ⣶⢾⣿⠄⠉⠁⠉⠉⠄⠤⠞⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⠄⠈⠄⠄⠁⠉⣽⠟⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡏⣧ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⠄⠣⡀⢀⣸⣿⠿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸ ⢹⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠚⣛⡊⣻⣿⡛⠗⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⡜ ⠈⢻⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⢀⣴⣴⣿⣿⠿⢾⡻⠿⢿⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⠁ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣄⠄⠉⠁⠄⠳⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⡟⠃⠄⠁⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣆⣀⣀⡀⡀⡖⣸⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠁⢿⣿⡿⠍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣴⠄⠰⣿⣿⣇⢀⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠙⠿⣷⣤⣼⣿⣿⣾⣷⣾⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣶⣤⡈⠛⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⢶⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⡿⠿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄
March 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing