Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
These are classic hedge fund tricks.
WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IS NOT A SELL-OFF.
Melvin Capital is going to throw a lot of tricks at us that will make it look like the stock is dropping. Don't fall for it.
Do not sell if you see any of these things happen:
GME drops by 30% or more after hours
SEC filings show that shorts have all exited their positions
GME drops below $1 a share
The Gamestop locations near you start closing
GME files for bankruptcy
GME is delisted from the stock exchange
Your bank forecloses on your home for late payment
Your children have children of their own who grow up and become investment bankers and tell you that you should stop telling people you're "diamond handing" a company that went out of business 30 years ago
These are classic hedge fund tricks.
WallStreetBets
The Rock: "cmon jabroni"
⣶⣿⣾⣷⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠃⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⡘⣤⠀⢀⣾⣿⣻⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣩⠀⣦⡙⠟⠟⠛⢓⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣯⣿⢸⣿⣷⡗⠀⠀⠁⠒⠠⢀⢰⡿⠻⠼⠓⠂⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣻⣿⡟⣯⣿⢋⣯⡟⣿⠏⠿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣨⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣇⡟⡀⠀⣹⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣦⣾⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⠃⠐⢩⣿⣿⢟⠟⠃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣿⡄⢰⡆⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡏⡄⠀⠀⢻⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠅⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠔⠀⠀⠀⠈⢟⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠘⠛⢷⡄⠀⠭⠉⠁⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢵⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⣶⣿⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢼⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠐⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢣⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿
⠓⠄⡀⠈⠢⠀⠀⠐⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠣⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Positive streamers only
twitchquotes:
Hi Mewnfare, it's Cliff, from Blizzard. Heard you were having some issues with matchmaking in our game. Our records show you aren't on our Streamer Prime servers, due to the notes 'Salt mine Overlord' and 'Hots Suggardaddy' Flagged on your account. I regret to inform you only positive streamers can play with a proper matchmaking today. Feel free to submit an appeal to our support team.
twitch chat
mewnfare
Attention all Smash Bros Gamers, Kirby is in great danger
twitchquotes:
Attention all Smash Bros Gamers, Kirby is in great danger, and he needs YOUR help to save all the innocent characters murdered and possessed by Galeem. To do this, he needs a Warp Star and a couple of Maximum Tomatoes. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three numbers on the back, and the expiration month and date. But you gotta be quick so that Kirby can secure the Spirits, and save billions of video game characters you know and love!
twitch chat
Super Smash Bros
Please mod me I'm your mother
twitchquotes:
Hey [insert streamer name] it's me. Your actual fucking MOTHER. I basically modded you throughout childhood so you might as well give me mod now. if you don't mod me you're basically calling yourself a failure as a human being. Make me proud of you.
twitch chat