[Copypasta] A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Gotta hit up the bathroom V2

twitchquotes: "Give me a second guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom". He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a blank stare. As Dex yips, Kripp stands up out of his chair, saying "This game is ok." at a medium volume. Rania continues streaming, and Kripp walks past her on the way to the bathroom. After taking a few breaths, Kripp walks back to his desk, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

For the blind, it is light

twitchquotes: Who is [streamer name]? ๐Ÿค” For the blind, ๐Ÿฆ‡ it is light. ๐Ÿ’ก For the hungry ๐Ÿ˜ฃ , it is bread. ๐Ÿž For the sick, ๐Ÿ’‰ it is the cure. โš•๏ธ For the sad ๐Ÿ˜ข , it is joy. ๐Ÿ˜‚ For the poor ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’ฐ , it is the treasure; ๐Ÿ’ฐ โ›๏ธ for the debtor โž– ๐Ÿ’ฐ , it is forgiveness. ๐Ÿ™ For the face ๐Ÿ˜ถ , it is the lips ๐Ÿ‘„
twitch chat
October 2021

Listen up here c9 police

twitchquotes: Listen up here c9 police, if the enemy team capture the point and nobody gets in it to stop them then it is scientifically classified as a c9 so stop trying to ruin everybodys fun and get a life
twitch chat
May 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Test to see if a deck is good or not in constructed

twitchquotes: here's the test to see if a deck is good or not in constructed: 1) does it have dr boom, 2) does it have sylvanas, 3) is it mech mage. if it meets two out of three criteria it is good
twitch chat
March 2015
Trump
Text-to-Speech Playing