[Copypasta] A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis

twitchquotes: You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Year 2025, Riot takes over the world

twitchquotes: The year is 2025, Riot has finished acquiring Facebook and Google as well as the country of Germany, making it the first nation in terms of GDP. All games, electronic devices, appliances and vehicles are to be produced and purchased from Riot only, failure to do so may result in being set to League Reformation Camps.
twitch chat
October 2019

League of Legends

Kripp plays Armor Up Warrior

twitchquotes: Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Armor Up Warrior. Now I remember why I fell asl... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

It's EXAM WEEK

twitchquotes: It's EXAM WEEK 😀😀 and it's TIME ⏱⏱ to WHIP OUT 😯😯 your EDUCATION ERECTIONS πŸŽ’πŸ“šπŸ†πŸ† and FUCK THESE FINALS πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰. That's RIGHT, get READY to BOOTYCALL πŸ‘πŸ“ž your SLUTTY STUDY BUDDIES 😏😏 and HIT πŸ‘ŠπŸ‘Š the BOOKS πŸ“˜πŸ“—πŸ“™till your BRAIN 🧠🧠 is RUBBED RAW 😫😫 and your PEN πŸ–ŠπŸ–Šis DRY 😡😡. So let's put the CUM in CUMULATIVE πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ and do this THING πŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ. Send this to 11 of the SKANKIEST 🀀🀀 SCHOLARS you know or you will LITERALLY get F'D! 😱😱
twitch chat
December 2019

Emoji Pasta

I'M SO STUPID I'M GONNA SHIT

twitchquotes: YOU SHOULD OF LEROYED OH GOD I'M SO FUCKING STUPID I'M GONNA SHIT
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing