[Copypasta] Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

FBI watermark

β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β£€β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£€β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β’ β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β‘„β €β €β € β €β €β’ β£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β €β € β €β’€β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β£ β£€β£„β£€β£ β£Ώβ €β €β’€β£€β£€β‘€β €β ˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ €β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘€β € β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ €β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ €β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β € ⠀Ⓒ⣿⣿⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓒ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⣿⣿⠀⠀Ⓒ⣿⣿⑧⠀ ⠀Ⓒ⣿⣿⑇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀Ⓓ⣿⠀⠀Ⓒ⣿⣿⑇⠀ β €β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ €β €β ˆβ ›β ›β ‰β €β’€β£Ύβ£Ώβ €β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒβ € β €β €β Έβ£Ώβ£·β£Άβ£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ύβ£Ώβ ‡β €β € β €β €β €β ˜β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‹β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β ›β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ™β »β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ ‹β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β ‰β ™β ›β ›β ‹β ‰β ‰β €β €β €β €β €β €
May 2019

PLEASE END AMONG US AND MCDONALDS

McDonalds is trying to invade the world. I don't know if you'll believe me, but it's true. I have plenty of evidence. In the USA, a McDonalds opens every 14.5 hours. That is very much. I see Mcdonalds every time I drive my car on the road. I live in a smaller area and there are plenty of McDonalds!. Once I saw two were next to each other! I went to Big Bear to have a nice winter, but a FUCKING MCDONALDS WAS THERE. I went to another country to stay there because I always wanted to go there. No McDonalds! but there was a new problem. AMONG US! PLEASE END AMONG US AND MCDONALDS, I AM SUFFERING
July 2022

Among Us / Amogus

LACKS CRITICAL INFORMATION

twitchquotes: PepeLaugh HE LACKS CRITICAL INFORMATION
twitch chat
July 2019

Trolling My Office With Among Us

There was a meme of a person trolling their school with Among Us. I am doing that to my office.My coworkers were working at their desks and I went up behind one of them. I yelled "When the imposter is sus!" and did the grin (from the meme) and hoped he would get it. He told me to go away so I slapped him and said "SUS! EJECT HIM!" Everybody was looking at me from throughout the office. I said "You're all impostors!" If they don't get the reference they are imposters! I ran over to the douchebag Jerry and smacked him, but he pushed me away and started calling the office. He got on the call but I got on the phone and said "HAHAHA YOU'RE A BIT SUSSY! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN" like the Among Drip theme song I ran out the door because I don't want to work with a bunch of LOSERS.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Concave head Wojak

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing