[Copypasta] Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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"Based"? Are "Based"? Are you fucking kidding me?

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
August 2021

Based

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I actually like fan service

What can I say? I’m a straight guy. Yeah I care about plot and writing and development and all that jazz but I would be lying through my teeth if i said a little fanservice bothered me because it honestly doesn’t. Now this doesn’t mean i’m some freak hentai addict or a weirdo that gets off from cartoons but yeah those girls do be looking good and a little tits or ass angle is kinda nice to see sometimes. It’s not like i’m actively looking for it but i don’t drop an anime because of it. Even in a super serious anime like Code Geass the fan service would honestly make me laugh bc of how unnecessary it is but it didn’t bother me and i liked the angles. Am i the unpopular opinion here bc i see a lot of people complaining about fanservice but it’s in almost every anime
August 2021

Weebs

Anime

Molediver Hypers

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February 2021

Teamfight Tactics

Mango Bay CoolCat

twitchquotes: CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat
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January 2017

Dota 2

Alright, rogue I guess

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper "Alright, rogue, I guess" ResidentSleeper "Haven't picked mage in a while, let's go mage ResidentSleeper "Paladin isn't that good, but alright" ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing