[Copypasta] Called my overweight female friend a heckin chonker today and now she won’t talk to me

My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didn’t look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying “maybe your just a heckin chonker” would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.
August 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Cinco de Mayo origin

Most people don’t know but back in 1912, Hellman’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of this delicious condiment, scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, which was to be the port for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest ever shipment on mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know the great ship did not make it to New York. This ship hit an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about the tantalising condiment, and were eagerly awaiting the delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. The anguish was so great that they declared a national day of warning which they sill observe to this day. The national day of mourning occurs every year on the 5th of May, you probably know it as Cinco de Mayo
May 2021

A middle aged man complaining about an online children's card game

twitchquotes: Why does anyone watch this guys stream? Its just a middle aged man complaining about an online children's card game. Its not even interesting either? please.. dont copy and paste this. its serious..he has 20k + viewers almost constantly
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. It’s a 🏳️‍🌈🐻 legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflation… He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… transitory. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
May 2022

WallStreetBets

Domo Kun

─────────▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄───────── ───────▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄─────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒███▒▒▒▌────── ▄▄────▐▒▒▒███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒███▒▒▒▌────▄▄ ▌▒▀▄──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▄▀▒▐ ▌▒▒▒▀▄█▒▒▒▄▀▄▄▀▀▄▄▀▀▄▄▀▄▒▒▒█▄▀▒▒▒▐ ▀▄▒▒▒▒▐▒▒▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌▒▒▌▒▒▒▒▄▀ ──▀▄▒▒▐▒▒▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌▒▒▌▒▒▄▀── ────▀▄▐▒▒▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌▒▒▌▄▀──── ──────█▒▒▐▄▀▄▀▀▄▄▀▀▄▄▀▀▄▌▒▒█────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▌────── ──────▐▒▒▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▄▀▀▄▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ───────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀───────
September 2021

Happy toilet paper

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠔⠒⠒⠶⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⢄⡀⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⡼⢿⣷⡝⡄⢨⣿⣯⡑⡄⡇⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⣷⣾⣿⢃⠇⠸⣬⣿⡇⠇⡇⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⠈⢻⠟⠁⠀⠈⠛⠿⠝⠃⠸⡀⠀⠀⠣⣀⡠⠎⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣗⢀⠠⠤⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡙⢢⢀⣠⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡍⢻⠙⠲⠶⠶⠖⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⢷⣤⣬⣍⣱⣶⣶⠖⠉⠹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠢⢏⣐⣋⣩⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠉⠀⠒⠂⠀⠤⠄⢀⡀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠒⠉⠉⠙⢧⣀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⠙⠢⠤⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing