[Copypasta] She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021
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I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

Gay chicken

twitchquotes: In high school, I was dared to play "gay chicken", which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay, and the first one to chicken out loses. The other guy and I are both really stubborn, and neither one of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and we run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with out adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect that he's actually gay
twitch chat
September 2019

Classic

KappaPride

For 5 years this Braum subs to Sneaky

twitchquotes: For 5 years this Braum subs to Sneaky. He climbs up from Bronze 3 to Diamond over the course of 4 years. Finally the day comes; he gets to play with Mr Scudderi. He picks Braum goes 1/10 gets flamed. He turns to alcohol and hard drugs. Starts beating his dog. Ends it in his mother's basement.
twitch chat
August 2019
Sneaky

League of Legends

This streamer believes that he has many different viewers

twitchquotes: This streamer believes that he has many different viewers, however it is really only me on many different accounts. To prove this, I will now repost this exact message on all my other accounts.
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June 2017

FeelsBirthdayMan

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⣿⣦⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣟⣻⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡟⠛⣿⣤⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣤⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⡶⠛⠛⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣣⣤⣤⣼⣶⣤⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣛⣭⣭⣭⣝⣋⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⠽⣒⣒⣒⣺⠝⢛⠭⣍⣛⣻⡯⠤⠄ ⠄⣰⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⠿⢖⣛⡭⢝⠛⠻⣯⢙⣭⣭⠋⠄⡀⢺⡭ ⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣗⣒⣤⣴⣬⣔⣢⣾⣶⣭⣤⣥⣶⠖⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣥⣄⡀⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣷⣮⣝⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣇⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣛⠿⣭⣽⣛⠳⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢗⣚⣛⠛⠄ ⠘⡻⢿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣻⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣛⡛⠛⠋⠄⠄ ⣼⣶⣯⣴⣚⠭⠭⣽⣿⣟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣻⢏⡉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2020
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