[Copypasta] She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

Surprised anime girl

⣇⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣟⣟⢟⢟⢝⠵⡝⣿⡿⢂⣼⣿⣷⣌⠩⡫⡻⣝⠹⢿⣿⣷ ⡆⣿⣆⠱⣝⡵⣝⢅⠙⣿⢕⢕⢕⢕⢝⣥⢒⠅⣿⣿⣿⡿⣳⣌⠪⡪⣡⢑⢝⣇ ⡆⣿⣿⣦⠹⣳⣳⣕⢅⠈⢗⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢈⢆⠟⠋⠉⠁⠉⠉⠁⠈⠼⢐⢕⢽ ⡗⢰⣶⣶⣦⣝⢝⢕⢕⠅⡆⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⣴⠏⣠⡶⠛⡉⡉⡛⢶⣦⡀⠐⣕⢕ ⡝⡄⢻⢟⣿⣿⣷⣕⣕⣅⣿⣔⣕⣵⣵⣿⣿⢠⣿⢠⣮⡈⣌⠨⠅⠹⣷⡀⢱⢕ ⡝⡵⠟⠈⢀⣀⣀⡀⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⢈⡋⠴⢿⡟⣡⡇⣿⡇⡀⢕ ⡝⠁⣠⣾⠟⡉⡉⡉⠻⣦⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣦⣥⣿⡇⡿⣰⢗⢄ ⠁⢰⣿⡏⣴⣌⠈⣌⠡⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⣉⣉⣁⣄⢖⢕⢕⢕ ⡀⢻⣿⡇⢙⠁⠴⢿⡟⣡⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣵⣿ ⡻⣄⣻⣿⣌⠘⢿⣷⣥⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⢄⠻⣿⣟⠿⠦⠍⠉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟ ⡕⡑⣑⣈⣻⢗⢟⢞⢝⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⠿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⣠ ⡝⡵⡈⢟⢕⢕⢕⢕⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣀⣈⠙ ⡝⡵⡕⡀⠑⠳⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢉⡠⡲⡫⡪⡪⡣
July 2020

Weebs

BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!”

twitchquotes: BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. “I don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Dongerino goes all bongerino didgeridoo over my keyboard

twitchquotes: When Kripp gives me the stare, my dongerino goes all bongerino didgeridoo over my keyboard.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
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