[Copypasta] Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom! You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you, humanity will punish you, space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My daughter is dating a douche-bag (response to /r/cryptocurrency post)

My daughter is dating a douche-bag I don't know where I messed up, I thought I taught her well on what to look for in a man. The guy just showed up at my house and starting rambling on about how DCAing 30 dollars in 4 months into Safemoon helped him understand finance and geopolitics. I told him he was completely oblivious about being in a ponzi, this only unchained a what I believed to be a cocaine induced speech saying that Safemoon was going to be the next Bitcoin and he was going to moon while buying "lambos" for his friends because he was no "Bitch-ass paperhands". I'm a bank executive, so you can only imagine what a nightmare this is for me. Don't know what the point of this post is, is not like my daughter is going to stop dating that idiot anyways. I'm scared about my daughter's future.
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Eminem is great but...

twitchquotes: Eminem is great but I listen to 3Pac, M&Ms, 3 Chainz, Big Wayne, Small Sean, 60 Cent, Snoop Catt, Mr. Dre, Ice Cubed, Old Jeezy, Jay-Y, Soulja Girl, Jizz Khalifa, Anna Kendrick Lamar, Hard-E, Andre 2999, Big B, Weak Mill, Semi-Automatic Kelly, Adult Cudi, Wu-Tang Tag Team, KRS-Two, and Kanye East instead.
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Big Chungus v2

🟫🟫🟩🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟫🟫🟫🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟫🟫🟫🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🈯🈯🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸ—»πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸ—»πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸˆ― πŸŸ«πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸŸ§πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸŸ§πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸŸ«πŸŸ«πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸŸ§πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸŸ§πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸŸ«πŸŸ«πŸŸ«πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸŸ§πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸŸ§πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸŸ«πŸŸ«πŸŸ«πŸŸ«πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸŸ©πŸŸ©πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»βšͺπŸ—»βšͺπŸ—»πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»β¬œπŸŸ₯βšͺ⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»β¬œβ¬œπŸŸ₯β¬œπŸ—»πŸ—»πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œπŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œπŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œπŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― 🈯🈯βšͺβšͺπŸ—»πŸ—»β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβšͺβšͺβšͺβšͺ🈯🈯 🈯🈯βšͺβšͺπŸ—»β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβšͺβšͺ🈯🈯🈯 πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œπŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œπŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œπŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œπŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸ—»πŸ—»β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œπŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―β¬œβ¬œπŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»πŸ—»β¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œβ¬œπŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ―πŸˆ― 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
January 2022

Rift Scuttler of fortune

twitchquotes: °ヽ༼ η›ŠΒ°γƒ½ ΰΌ½,, You've been visited by Rift Scuttler of fortune. Tingle your antennae and copy paste this message 5 times without getting banned by mods and luck be with you for the next year °ヽ༼ η›ŠΒ°γƒ½ ΰΌ½,,
twitch chat
February 2015
Bjergsen

A reply to 'k'

K? K what? The letter before L? The letter after J? Did you know that in JK the K stands for β€œkidding?” So your reply is β€œkidding?” or K as in Potassium? Do you need some Special K for breakfast? K as in I can K/O you? Can I knock you out and feed you to hungry sharks? Sharks have a K in it. "K"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "K"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only letter you can comprehend is "K" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "K" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about a single letter? I bet you took the time to type that one letter too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "K" on your gravestone? Do you want people to remember you as the asshat who one day decided to respond to someone with a single letter? "Hey, look, everybody! It's that "K" guy!" That's who you are. You're going to be known as the "K" guy. How does it feel? Do you feel happy? Quite honestly, I don't care, which is why I'm not even going to respond to you. Goodbye, and good luck with your future as that guy who said "K".
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing