[Copypasta] Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom! You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you, humanity will punish you, space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
September 2021
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Pikachu

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€
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November 2014

Pokemon

Why won't my sister french kiss me?

Why won't my sister french kiss me? I have a date this weekend and I have never kissed a girl. Anyways I asked my sister nicely if shed let me practice french kissing with her. She slapped me and locked herself in her room. I screamed that she was the only girl I could practice with and she was being selfish. She got scared and called the cops. Plus she told her boyfriend and he wants to kick my ass. WTF is wrong with my sister. I hate her so much
July 2022

Confessions

Well met m'ladies of Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: Wแด‡สŸสŸ แดแด‡แด› แด'สŸแด€แด…ษชแด‡s แดา“ Tแดกษชแด›แด„สœ Cสœแด€แด›! I'แด แด€ษด แด‡สŸษชษขษชส™สŸแด‡, า“แด€sสœษชแดษดแด€ส™สŸแด‡ (แดษดสŸส แด›สœแด‡ สŸแด€แด›แด‡sแด› แด›แด€ษชสŸแดส€แด‡แด… า“แด‡แด…แดส€แด€s) ส™แด€แด„สœแด‡สŸแดส€, แดกสœแด แด‡ษดแดŠแดสs แดษดสŸส แด›สœแด‡ า“ษชษดแด‡sแด› Dแดส€ษชแด›แดs (CแดแดสŸ Rแด€ษดแด„สœ). Iา“ แด€ษดส ส™แดœxแดแด า“แด‡แดแด€สŸแด‡s (ษดแด า“แด€แด›แด›ษชแด‡s) แด€ส€แด‡ ษชษดแด›แด‡ส€แด‡sแด›แด‡แด… ษชษด sแด‡x, แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ sแด‡ษดแด… แดแด‡ แด€ Tแดกษชแด›แด„สœ PM.
twitch chat
May 2015
Tempo Storm

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'โˆšฯ€3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

We wish you a Merry Krippmas

twitchquotes: ส• อกโ—Š อœโ—‰ อกโ—Š ส” We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas and a Salty New Year. Good top-deckings to you, whereever you are, Good top-deckings for Krippmas, and a Salty New Year. ส• อกโ—Š อœโ—‰ อกโ—Š ส”
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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