Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female pokemon breeding, vaporeon is not the most compatible pokemon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however vaporeon has its human on pokemon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, umbreon.
Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defense stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, inner focus allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued.
Umbreon also has access to the ability synchronise, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect, breedable pokemon.
A great fun fact, umbreon can excrete toxins in it's sweat, which would in turn soak your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your umbreon as well (which with synchronise, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). It can learn payback, which doubles in power after the pokemon is hit, meaning umbreon will throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn guard swap, it could give you it's insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance.
Speaking of endurance, umbreon also has access to endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as slam, pound, etc;
It's access to the abilities inner focus and synchronise allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of it's pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes umbreon the most qualified to breed with humans; able to take d**k of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
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What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?
Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as 
team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in Spawn.
team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in Spawn.
It's already priced in
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Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
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A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once
A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once. He comes is and is posturing like he’s really tall and large but the guy couldn’t be more than 5’4”. The class starts and he is just sitting there in quietly staring forward in the front of the class with an awfully distorted picture of his face that said “The required information is in the lab directions” but he never handed us anything. This goes on for a minute until one of the talkative kids just asks if he is okay he hadn’t even taken a breath yet and veins were popping out of his neck and forehead. The moment the kid made a noise he stated wildly shaking his head around while making high pitched laser(?) sounds. Worst period of geology I’ve ever had. The rest was just him passing out the lab sheet but he would just hold it toward them motionless until they reached for it and he would snatch it away and laugh at them right in their face. Couldn’t find a more fucked guy if I tried. I'll edit in the image if anyone got a pic of it.
Jerma985
Leave the competition to the the competitors
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WHY in the FUCK do you PLEBS roll in here and think you can backseat game the GREAT [insert streamer name]. He is a god who floats in your sea of wrong on his ship of right. His plays are FLAWLESS and every loss he takes is pure, unadultared, rng, bullshit. Get your tiny minds out of here and go watch something more casual!! Leave the competition to the the competitors. [insert streamer name] god has essential work to do.
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Every 60 seconds in Murica, 60000 burgers are digested
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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Eᴠᴇʀʏ 60 sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅs ɪɴ Mᴜʀɪᴄᴀ, 60,000 ʙᴜʀɢᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ᴅɪɢᴇsᴛᴇᴅ. Tᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜɪs. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅ. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Kripp