[Copypasta] Unidan "jackdaw is a crow"

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
October 2021

Classic

Legendary Reddit copypasta: https://np.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/2byyca/reddit_helps_me_focus_on_the_important_things/cjb37ee/
What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas

Doublelift isn't so great? Are you kidding me?

twitchquotes: Doublelift isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such an ability and movement with Vayne? Doublelift puts the game on another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. Faker breaks records. Sneaky breaks records. Doublelift breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic. And his haircut.
twitch chat
December 2016
Doublelift

Classic

League of Legends

Copy whatever that brain dead moron types

twitchquotes: I swear all this chat ever does is pick the one idiot with the lowest IQ and copy whatever that brain dead moron types.
twitch chat
November 2017

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Flanders Diddly Spamly Doodly

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’DIDDLYโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’SPAMLYโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’DOODLYโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–
ascii art
September 2016

Classic

Hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan!

twitchquotes: H-hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan! I know you don't know me that well, I sit in the column closest to the door and in the back row. Oh yeah, duh... LoL, we have Chemistry together with Ms. Raphatello. Ughh, she's such a b****! Anyways I'm being such a baka (LoL that's Japanese for idiot!). Oh, do you like Anime too? I'm sure if you gave it a chance you would too if you don't already watch it ~_~. I always look at you in Chemistry and you never seem to notice me... BAHHH WHAT AM I DOING?!?! GOMENASAI Artour-kun (gomenasai means sorry in Japanese ^.^). Just wanted to say hello and I really love your stream! Good luck Kripp-kun!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

A severe lack of cute emotes in chat

twitchquotes: Konichiwa Kripp-kun AYAYA . This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like AYAYA and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing