[Copypasta] Nice opinion, but it's wrong

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom. You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you. Humanity will punish you. supernatural beings will punish you. Space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Wow, that actually killed me

twitchquotes: :thinking: The year is 2034. QT lies on his death bed. As he lies there in his last breath he whispers: "Wow, that actually killed me." :thinking:
twitch chat
January 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Imagine being Bill Gates right now.

Imagine being Bill Gates right now. You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education. Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will.. Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live. You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
February 2021

Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
April 2021

Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

Infected with the Dank Pasta Virus

twitchquotes: bᎽ ᏒᎬᎪᎠᎥᏁᎶ ᏆhᎥs mᎬssᎪᎶᎬ ᎽᎾu ᎪᏒᎬ ᏁᎾᎳ ᎥᏁfᎬᏟᏆᎬᎠ ᎳᎥᏆh ᏆhᎬ ᎠᎪᏁᏦ ᏢᎪsᏆᎪ ᏉᎥᏒus. ᏆᎾ ᎶᎬᏆ ᏒᎥᎠ Ꮎf ᏆhᎬ ᎠᎪᏁᏦ ᏢᎪsᏆᎪ ᏉᎥᏒus, ᎽᎾu musᏆ ᏢᎪss ᎥᏆ ᎾᏁ ᏆᎾ ᏆhᎬ ᏟhᎪT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ I'm cured!!
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing