PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers
"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
Classic
Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here
twitchquotes:
Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here, I mean I thought this was supposed to be "the worst chat in twitch" and this is all you got!? The KPM in this chat is WAY too low, it is actually depressing. How am I supposed to enjoy chat without dongers, "FrankerZ's", and the occasional elephant?
twitch chat
imaqtpie
learn instead of crying
twitchquotes:
This is a game of pure skill and you lost because you were completely outplayed and outmaneuvered. It's better to learn from your mistakes instead of crying because you believe your opponents are luckier than you are. One day, when you can actually admit to your mistakes, you might actually be better at the game. 
twitch chat
Kripp
MOM I NEED V-BUCKS
twitchquotes:
βοΈβ OK MOM ββοΈWE NEED TO TALK π‘π€ I NEED V-BUCKS ππ΅ I'VE MADE STRAIGHT A'S ππ€¨ I'VE CLEANED MY ROOM π«π€¬ I'VE TAKEN OUT THE TRASH ποΈπ« I CUT THE CATS ASSHOLE HAIR ππ NOW I NEED YOU π§π TO BUY ME V-BUCKS ππ₯ I'VE GOTTA SHOW π€―π€¬ MY CLOUT ON FORTNITE π₯ππ― NOW I'LL BE IN BED π΄π€ BY NINE BECAUSE IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT πππΈ
twitch chat
Fortnite
Doublelift dodges Imaqtpie in queue
twitchquotes:
Doublelift fired up his stream for another day of soloQ, but foolishly forgot to check if Imaqtpie was in a game. He opened up QTβs stream to find him sitting in queueβ¦ He frantically began tabbing between his client and QTβs stream, then one after the otherβ¦ both queues popped. βI need the toiletβ he said to his chat. He ran to the wall and unplugged his internet. He was safe for another day.
twitch chat
imaqtpie