[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I fucking hate the word poggers

I fucking hate the word poggers. It's not funny, it's not quirky, it's stupid. It's just an Asian man going gasp!. It is not funny and I do not enjoy looking at it. Whenever someone says poggers out loud I'm just like "I get it you use fucking twitch.
December 2020

Doublelift's chat is the best chat to spread copypastas

twitchquotes: Doublelift's chat is the best chat to spread your copypastas. I love the feeling of that succulent wall of text skyrocketing through chat at the speed of sound. The sheer knowledge that at least one other person will notice your masterpiece, highlight it, and copypasta. This is my safe place. This is where I will plant my pastas to grow up to be big pasta trees.
twitch chat
February 2017
Doublelift

could you please take post down (Twitter)

Excuse me, not to be disrespectful or rude but could you please take post down. That is my sister who was killed by a metra train. And it this post is very disrespectful. Idk who you are or if you even know her but I need you to take this down please.
April 2021

Angry Bee

twitchquotes: ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠦⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣦⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡄⠙⣿⣿⣶⣤⡾⣫⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠲⢤⣀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡀⢸⣿⡿⣫⣾⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢦⡀⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢈⡿⢡⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡄⠈⣿ ⣿⡇⢸⡇⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⢿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠈ ⣿⡀⢸⡇⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣟⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡶⢢⢰⠀ ⣿⣇⠈⢷⣿⣿⡾⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⠷⠼⠇⠂ ⣿⣿⣦⠀⠻⣿⣧⡘⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⠻⣷⣌⢷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢰⣿⣿⣷⣯⡛⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠔⠁⣤ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡉⠛⠋⠙⠻⠷⢶⣤⣤⣤⣄⣤⣤⣤⡤⠦⠖⠂⠈⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⠀⠺⠿⠿⠟⠋⠁⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
twitch chat
February 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing