PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle
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I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
twitch chat
The D: emote has been banned
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ββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
The D: emote has been banned from this channel ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
The D: emote has been banned from this channel ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
twitch chat
I canβt escape Fortnite
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I canβt escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, βDo you play Fortnite?β. At first I couldnβt process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. βDude, do you play Fortnite?β Then I heard someone respond behind me. βFortnite?β Then another. βYeah, that game.β I couldnβt shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with βwhere we droppin' boys?β. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say βTilted Towers!β
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Fortnite
there I was, finalizing my reddit post
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there I was, finalizing my reddit post complaining about moonmoons RP, when I heard my mom call me for dinner. Chicken tendies, my favorite. Tonight was the night I was meeting her new boyfriend. I walked downstairs, ready to eat my tendies. I looked up at who was sitting at the table. It was HIM. Bald, small beady eyes, and smelled like cats. It was MoonMoon_OW. And he was fucking my mom. βWhy would you do this to me?!β I screamed at my mother, and ran upstairs to make another reddit post
twitch chat
MOONMOON
Forsen enters his bedroom and notices something unusual
twitchquotes:
Forsen enters his bedroom and notices something unusual. In his bed lays a 6/3 Reynad in stealth. Forsen has no answer for this play. He passes his turn and prepares himself for the donger of destiny.Kappa 
twitch chat
Forsen