[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Thanks Nivea!

twitchquotes: γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ GUYS GUYS , just used new Nivea Lotion on my donger and now it looks 10 years youger , THANKS NIVEA γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

hey Tyler, its me Brad

twitchquotes: hey Tyler, its me Brad, remember me . Ha, remember that time when you tried to run trough the A gap but i tackled you so hard you started crying. yes good times man.
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

Tanner from High School

Knight from the Order of Cut Pasta

twitchquotes: <:::::[]=ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ I am a Knight from the Order of Cut Pasta. I am sworn to slicerino all Copy Pasta, my enemy by oath. I shall do battle with this Demon, stand back and have no fear Moderino. To this most foul manifestation of Copy Pasta, retreat sour beast or taste my blade in combat. <:::::[]=ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

NA ULT LUL

twitchquotes: Listen up you fcking dweebs, this is a WAKE UP CALL to all those who type "NA ULT LUL". I'm from NA and let me tell you what happens when I use my Ultimate Ability (Q on PC, Triangle on PS4, Y on X-box 1). The enemy team is eviscerated. Decimated. Their souls are expelled from the server and banished to Hell. They wallow in their own filth and shit for 10,000 days and it is disgusting. So next time you type "NA ULT LUL" you fcking remember this post.
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Overwatch

You have been gifted a waifu

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” TwitchVotes You have been gifted a waifu. Type AYAYA to activateβ€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing