[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kappa is no longer working

twitchquotes: ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ATTENTION ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime Someone has reported that the kappa emote is no longer working. Please type "Ka ppa" (no spaces) to confirm that it is indeed still working. Kappa
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

In a forest in Canada a young boy named Kripp was born

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) In a forest in Canada a young boy named Kripp was born. Every day he would dream of a better life, one with Spreadsheets and all the OJ he could drink. One day a magical Succubus came and whisked him away, she promised him glory, cats and best of all... Boobs. Now Kripp is dead. The End (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

The Feed Lord is here

twitchquotes: Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana slowly stroked his beard. There was only one thing on his mind. "I have a need..." he smirked. "A need to feed." His hand moved from his beard to his mouse. He locked in kog maw with a grin. "The Feed Lord is here."
twitch chat
August 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Hydra smile

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⠿⠿⠋⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⣉⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⠒⠄⡟⠍⢻⣿⣿⠍⠛⠄⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠢⠄⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⠄⣤⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠻⣷⣌⣉⣉⣴⠿⣀⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⢰⣿⣿⣿⡏⢰⡟⣡⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡀⣭⣭⣭⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⠘⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⠁⡟⠏⢻⣿⡟⠍⢹⡇⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣆⢻⠿⢋⣉⣤⡀⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⡇⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣇⠻⣧⣝⣛⣛⣭⡿⠃⣩⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣍⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣶⣌⢉⣉⣉⣥⠞⢸⡿⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⢿⠄⠿ ⣿⣿⠇⣸⣿⣿⣿⡄⢹⣿⠆⠙⣉⣡⣀⢸⣧⣠⣾⣿⣷⣤⣼⠄⣀ ⡿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢈⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣟⠻⠿⠟⣻⣿⢸⣿ ⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣬⡙⠿⠿⠿⣋⣵⣾⣿
May 2019

Just give me one more NAIR

twitchquotes: BabyRage BabyRage I've come to declare BabyRage BabyRage Every night I give prayer BabyRage BabyRage Please lord if you care BabyRage BabyRage Just give me one more NAIR BabyRage BabyRage
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing