[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Anime is art

Anime isn't just a bunch of cheap American ripoffs of cartoons, it's art. Next time you American sheeple are watching your simpsons or south park or whatever mindless American cartoons that have plots, storylines and comedy, I'll be Admiring the wonderful and superior art of Chinese cartoons.
December 2020

Weebs

Pro players that go to tournaments are not the best

twitchquotes: The "pro" players that go to tournaments and stuff are NOT the best players in the world, not even close. These are just the best players of the type of losers who have the personality deficiency that compels them to actually go to gaming tournaments.
twitch chat
April 2019

This guy's appendicitis is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: โ˜‘ โ€œThis guy's appendicitis is CRAZY!โ€ โ˜‘ โ€œMy appendix can't win against an appendicitis like thatโ€ โ˜‘ "He NEEDED precisely that appendicitis to win" โ˜‘ โ€œHe topdecked the only appendicitis that could beat meโ€ โ˜‘ "He had the perfect infection" โ˜‘ โ€œThere was nothing I could doโ€ โ˜‘ โ€œI played that perfectly"
twitch chat
October 2017
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Nazi doge

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ– โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’
ascii art
November 2014

I whispered into his ear, my word a soft caress: "LEGAL"

twitchquotes: Hแด‡ สœแด€แด… แด€สŸสŸ แด›สœแด‡ แด›แดแดสŸs สœแด‡ ษดแด‡แด‡แด…แด‡แด…, สแด‡แด› สœแด‡ แด„แดแดœสŸแด… ษดแดแด› sแด‡แด‡ ษชแด›. I แดกแด€ษดแด›แด‡แด… สœษชแด แด›แด sแดœแด„แด„แด‡แด‡แด… sแด ส™แด€แด…สŸส, สœแด‡ แดกแด€s ษดแด‡แด€ส€สŸส แด›สœแด‡ส€แด‡. Bแดœแด› สœแด‡ แด„แดแดœสŸแด…ษด'แด› า“ษชษดษชsสœ แด›สœแด‡ แดŠแดส™ ส™ส สœษชแดsแด‡สŸา“. Bแด€แดส™แดแดแดขสŸแด‡แด… ส™ส สœษชs แดแดกษด แดษชษดแด…. I สœแด€แด… แด›แด สœแด‡สŸแด˜ สœษชแด, แด›แด แด‡ษดsแดœส€แด‡ สœษชs แด ษชแด„แด›แดส€ส. Sแด I แดกสœษชsแด˜แด‡ส€แด‡แด… ษชษดแด›แด สœษชs แด‡แด€ส€, แดส แดกแดส€แด… แด€ sแดา“แด› แด„แด€ส€แด‡ss: "LEGAL".
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing