[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
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NOW WE RUCKUS

twitchquotes: (โ•ญเฒฐ ็›Šโ€ขฬ)/ NOW WE RUCKUS (โ•ญเฒฐ ็›Šโ€ขฬ)
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K

Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Only the chosen one can fist both asses

twitchquotes: (โ€ฟห โ€ฟ) _(โ€ฟห โ€ฟ) only the chosen one can fist both asses. โŽ Kreygasm โŽ 
twitch chat
June 2016

Squid

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘(โ—)โ–’โ–’(โ—)โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–Œโ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Dex barks at Kripp

twitchquotes: OhMyDog "Alright, bark at Kripp, I guess" OhMyDog "Haven't barked at Kripp in a while, let's go bark" OhMyDog "Barking at Kripp isn't that good, but alright" OhMyDog
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp
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