[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Privyet, Komrade Toast!

twitchquotes: Privyet, Komrade Toast! Is your cousin Dmitri from Mother Russia! I am of hearing that you make much moneys by playing simplistic chess game for toddlers and whining like little baby in front of thousands of simpletons! BLYAT! You should play game for REAL man like Counterstrike Go! Already I am recruit by man with enormous forehead for professional team Tampon Storm and will be winning many tournaments, yes! Don't be a cyka, you capitalist pig, and stop crying like baby! Love, Dmitri.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me “Windows Update 10.0.10586” and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
May 2016

I sexually Identify as

UwU

⡆⣐⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠅⢗⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕ ⢐⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⣕⢕⢕⠕⠁⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠅⡄⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠅⢗⢕⠕⣠⠄⣗⢕⢕⠕⢕⢕⢕⠕⢠⣿⠐⢕⢕⢕⠑⢕⢕⠵⢕ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⠁⢜⠕⢁⣴⣿⡇⢓⢕⢵⢐⢕⢕⠕⢁⣾⢿⣧⠑⢕⢕⠄⢑⢕⠅⢕ ⢕⢕⠵⢁⠔⢁⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⡐⣕⢽⠐⢕⠕⣡⣾⣶⣶⣶⣤⡁⢓⢕⠄⢑⢅⢑ ⠍⣧⠄⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣔⢕⢄⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡑⢕⢤⠱⢐ ⢠⢕⠅⣾⣿⠋⢿⣿⣿⣿⠉⣿⣿⣷⣦⣶⣽⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢹⣷⣷⡅⢐ ⣔⢕⢥⢻⣿⡀⠈⠛⠛⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠈⠛⠛⠁⠄⣼⣿⣿⡇⢔ ⢕⢕⢽⢸⢟⢟⢖⢖⢤⣶⡟⢻⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⡟⢀⣿⣦⢤⢤⢔⢞⢿⢿⣿⠁⢕ ⢕⢕⠅⣐⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⣿⣿⡄⠛⢀⣦⠈⠛⢁⣼⣿⢗⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⡏⣘⢕ ⢕⢕⠅⢓⣕⣕⣕⣕⣵⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣕⢕⢕⢕⢕⡵⢀⢕⢕ ⢑⢕⠃⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⢕⢕⢕ ⣆⢕⠄⢱⣄⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢁⢕⢕⠕⢁ ⣿⣦⡀⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣍⣛⣛⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⢛⣛⣉⣭⣤⣂⢜⠕⢑⣡⣴⣿
December 2019

Weebs

Classic

peepoClap

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠉⠙⠛⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⢀⠔⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠠⠔⠚⠉⠉⠁⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢔⠤⠀⢤⣤⡀⠠⣢⡭⠋⡙⢿⣭⡨⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀⠆⠀⠀⠀⣪⣴⣿⠐⢬⠀⣿⡗⣾⣿⡇⠈⠦⢸⣿⠗⢠⠿⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠄⠀⠠⠋⠀⠈⠛⠻⠆⠀⠈⢀⡠⣬⣠⢣⣶⢸ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⣶⡌⣇⣿⢰⠷⠦⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⠶⠞⡛⠁⣿⣿⣾⣱⢸ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣬⣽⣿⣿⢸⡜⢿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣯⣽⣦⡲⣾⣿⡇⣿⠀⣌⠿⣿⠏⣼ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡿⢫⡈⠻⢦⡹⢟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣡⠿⣫⡼⠃⠀⣿⡷⢠⣾⣿ ⣿⡇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣷⡀⠀⠙⠳⠦⣭⣭⣭⣵⡶⠿⠋⠀⢀⣴⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⢠⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢹⣿⣇⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⡘⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣍⣉⣛⣛⡛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣉⣩⣭⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Peepo

Pepe

Going face was the correct play

twitchquotes: Breaking News: Popular vegan salt miner kripparian was found dead this morning after both of this meat starved dogs ate his face while he was sleeping. Officials are saying that circumstances lead them to believe that "going face was the correct play". More at 11
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing