PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
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More Copypastas
zachary is no more. there is only cock
twitchquotes:
sneaky's eyelids flutter open. on one side of his bed, his beloved, lynn. on the other side, his lover, meteos. he slowly awakens to his surroundings. "...cocks," he mutters as he walks to the bathroom. "cocks," he slurs as he brushes his teeth. "cocks," he says while in the shower, hands washing all over his body. "cocks," he says as he burns his food and decides to order postmates. sneaky's life is consumed by cocks. zachary is no more. there is only cock.
twitch chat
Sneaky
Here 💦 CUMS 💦 SANTA (Christmas Emoji Pasta)
Here 💦CUMS💦 🎅🏽Santa Claus,🎅🏽 here 💦CUMS💦 🎅🏽Santa Claus,🎅🏽 right down 👩🏽👸🏽slutty girl lane!👩🏽👸🏽 ❌🚫❌🚫STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!❌🚫❌🚫 Is your 👨🏻👨🏻daddy👨🏻👨🏻 not giving you enough 💦💦💦cummies?!💦💦💦 Hold up,🙅🏽🙅🏽🙅🏽 ho! It's 💦💦cummy💦💦 ❄️💦❄️SEASON!❄️💦❄️ Push✋🏽✋🏽 that 👨🏻👨🏻daddy👨🏻👨🏻 to the ⏩⏩side⏩⏩ and let a 👌🏽NEW👌🏽 father in 🏡YOUR CHIMNEY!! 🏡 🎅🏽🎅🏽🎅🏽Father CHRISTMAS,🎅🏽🎅🏽🎅🏽 the 👑👑KING👑👑 of 💦cummies!💦 That's right,👍🏼 he's been making 👧🏽little👧🏽 👧🏽girls👧🏽 squishy for 6️⃣ CENTURIES. Don't ❎❎ mind the old saying; he ONLY makes the 💦😫😫😈NAUGHTIEST😈😫😫💦girls ☁️squishy☁️! So send this to all the 😼nastiest😼 👧🏽girls👧🏽 you know and share❗️Those❗️Cummies❗️Get 0️⃣ back and you're a basic 🌑🌑coal-slinging bitch.🌑🌑 Get 5️⃣ back and you get 👅eaten👅 like 🍪cookies🍪and 👅💦slurped💦👅 like 🍼milk!🍼 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and 🎅🏽Santa's🎅🏽 big 🍆🍆COCK🍆🍆 will grow⏫⏫ 3️⃣ sizes inside of you!😫😩 Get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you become Mrs. Claus, and get 🍑🍌🍆yummy 🍒🍭🍼nummy 🍼💦☁️squishy🍼💦☁️ 💧💧cummies💧💧 until next ⏩🌨☃Christmas!🌨☃
Emoji Pasta
Christmas
Holiday Emoji
Holiday
Mary Wanna
twitchquotes:
hello cute pie, my name is macaroni struthers and i am here to enlighten you about the dangers of a drug called "mary wanna." it is a very dangerous drug that can kill your life! so be careful please and do not consume it 
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here. I understand you are willing to sell yourself out like a cheap Romanian hooker to any two-bit game development outfit as long as they dangle some shekels in front of your beady little eyes? Great! Because I have this brilliant game in beta testing right now called "Watching Paint Dry" and I am willing to pay you $5.00 USD to play it for 24 hours straight. Let me know what you think, you glorious sellout!
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
Classic
Please stop posting these unnecessarily long posts
twitchquotes:
Can you all just stop posting these unnecessarily long posts please? The only reason you post them is to try and bait someone into copy and pasting them. What if we all just gave interesting views and opinions about the stream instead of posting useless stuff? Please I beg you twitch chat, to stop with this nonsense.
twitch chat
Kripp