[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
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4House

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February 2019

You think this takes concentration?

twitchquotes: You think this takes concentration? Try healing in World of Warcraft after someone in the group just feared the entire room and the stupid death knight has stolen all the aggro from the tank, all whilst trying to reach deep into the bag for the extra cheesy dorritos. Now THAT is a skill.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

What is a plebian?

twitchquotes: Plebian = Actually defined as a member of a despised social class, a commoner, a member of the plebs of ancient Rome. Also low-born, undisinguished, vulgar, and my personal favourite: vulgar-looking
twitch chat
July 2015
Trick2g

plebs vs subs

Wait Aurateur is actually bald?

twitchquotes: I’ve been blind since birth. After restorative eye surgery I got a new lease on life. I can drive, watch TV, see the sunset. But more importantly, I can finally truly watch my favorite twitch streamer, Aurateur. From the sounds of it he is a god gamer and the chat is so rambunctious it’s always a good time. Alright, time to log into twitch and see what he’s up to........ Wait this guy is actually bald? lmao I’m outta here
twitch chat
November 2020
Aurateur

Wow, You’re an introvert?

twitchquotes: Wow, You’re an introvert? Thats so quirky and hilarious. What a funny socially awkward moment. Damn, you really are a comedy genius. Every time you say you’re an introvert, i burst into uncontrollable laughter. I still cant believe it. Thats super funny man. You mean you would rather sit in the dark on your computer instead of Going outdoors with some friends, getting drunk and Drunk Driving? Wow. Surely you must be the only one like that alive.
twitch chat
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing