[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Interactive Game

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey Kripp, here's an "interactive game" for you. ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
November 2014
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Only the fattest NA fan can hold his taco

twitchquotes: TBTacoLeft TBCheesePull TBTacoRight only the fattest NA fan can hold his taco ⎝ OpieOP
twitch chat
May 2016

EU vs NA

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣏⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿ ⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣧⡙⠻⣿⡇⣿ ⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠃⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣟⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⡦⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⡦⣿ ⣿⣾⣿⡏⣠⠄⠈⣉⡙⡻⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢿⡀⢀⣉⠉⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣶⠄⠄⢠⣤⣄⣀⡀⣿ ⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣠⣀⠄⢸⣿⣇⣿ ⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠾⣛⣿⣵⣿⣿⡟⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿ ⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣈⣉⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣽⣿⣿⠊⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣯⣿⣿⡇⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⣿
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