[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

only a real human being can buld a prper face

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ƒ ๐Ÿ‘ only a real human being can build a proper face ๐Ÿ‘„
twitch chat
May 2017

Dear streamer, I will be joining the doubters

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“œ โœ๏ธ Sadge ๐““๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป [streamer name] , ๐“˜ ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ฐ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐“ฏ๐“พ๐“ต๐“ต๐”‚ ๐”€๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ซ๐“ฎ ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฒ๐“ฐ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ฏ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ถ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ช ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐“ป ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐”€๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ซ๐“ฎ ๐“ณ๐“ธ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ญ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ซ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ผ ๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐“ญ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ซ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐“ช๐“ซ๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ผ.
twitch chat
February 2021

Pwease put on some kawaii anime music

twitchquotes: Reckful senpai AYAYA ๐Ÿท Would you pwease put on some kawaii anime music, perhaps puddi puddi in G Minor?
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful

Weebs

Hasanabi what a liar

twitchquotes: What a fucking liar, dude. What a fucking, weaselly little, liar, dude. What a fucking, weaselly little LIAR, dude. Holy shit, dude. Holy fucking shit, dude. Literally lying, STILL LYING... What a fucking liar, dude. What a fucking, weaselly little, liar, dude. What a fucking, weaselly little LIAR, dude. Holy shit, dude. Holy fucking shit, dude. Literally lying, STILL LYING...
twitch chat
December 2019
HasanAbi
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