[Copypasta] Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

im dropping my uwus all over the place

twitchquotes: ᵘʷᵘ oh frick ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ frick sorry guys ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ sorry im dropping ᵘʷᵘ my uwus all over the ᵘʷᵘ place ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ ᵘʷᵘ sorry
twitch chat
July 2019

Weebs

I own a musket for base defense (Palworld)

I own a musket for base defense, since that's what the developers intended. Four Syndicate dunderheads breach my front gate. "What the Ignis?" As I grab my cold resistant metal armor and musket. Blow a pal sphere sized hole through the first thug, he's dead on the spot. Draw my make-shift pistol on the second thug, miss him entirely because it's crafted from spare parts and nails the neighbor's Rayhound. I have to resort to my Lamball and the mounted rocket fortification at the top of the stairs. "Tally ho lads" the shrapnel shreds two thugs in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off the neighbors alarm bells. Ready my metal spear and charge at the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the PIDF to arrive since thirty-seven stab wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the developers intended.
January 2024

Palworld

Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
December 2018

Dubarino

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ Mᴇᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ Dᴜʙᴀɪ, Rᴇʏɴᴀᴅ. Pʟs sᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. "୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨" ᴍᴇᴀɴs "Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴀᴛ ᴘᴇɴ!s" ɪɴ ᴅᴜʙᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

ME ICEFROG ME SPAM NO 700 IF BAN

twitchquotes: OSFrog ME ICEFROG OSFrog ME SPAM OSFrog NO 700 OSFrog IF BAN OSFrog
twitch chat
December 2016

Dota 2

Text-to-Speech Playing