I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
(โฬฟฤนฬฏโโฌโดโฌโด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
Classic
ACHOO uh oh you just got the Delta variant!
ACHOOโผ๏ธ๐คง๐คงWhat was thatโ๏ธโ๏ธ๐๐Uh-oh ๐ฏ looks like you just got ๐๐ the Delta variant! ๐๐๐ Donโt you know ๐บ๐ธโ๏ธ๐คข๐ค๐ค๐คค the world ๐ HOE Organization ๐๐
called it the most DOMINANT ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ strain since the start of the ๐ PANTIE-DEMIC ๐๐๐ No more touching daddy ๐ฉ๐ฉ ๐ง๐ผ until you wash ๐งฝ๐งฝyour dirty ๐พnasty ๐คข little ๐ค๐ผfingers โ๐ป๐ค๐ปโ๐ป๐ค๐ปfor 6๏ธโฃ9๏ธโฃ seconds with sHOEp ๐งผ and water ๐ง ๐
otherwise it doesnโt count ๐คก๐คก๐คก Time to stop ๐ spreading the germs ๐คฎ๐ฅด๐คand start spreading ๐งyour legs๐คค๐ฆถ๐ฝ๐ฆต๐ปbecause everyone ๐ฉโ๐ฆฐ๐จโ๐ซ๐ฆน๐พโโ๏ธ๐ง๐ผโโ๏ธhas to keep TWERKING ๐๐from home! ๐ก SEND THIS TO 1๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ other coronavirus cucks ๐๐พ๐๐ปotherwise Fuckboy Fauci ๐๐ is cumming for you ๐๐๐
Emoji Pasta
Coronavirus
COVID
Oh, so you support your girlfriend?
twitchquotes:
Oh, so you support your girlfriend? You simp. Okay Homer SIMPson. You absolute simpanzee. OOO OOO OO OO EE EE OO ๐ <- that is you. You are nothing but sludge . You are putrid muck given form, weakness personified. I am not sympathetic. You are simp pathetic.
twitch chat
Simps
Could you help me find my dogs?
twitchquotes:
Hey guys i lost one of my dogs 
Could you help me to find him? Please Type 
(Franker Z) Or 
(Ralpher Z) To find them! Thank you! The Twitch Chat is so intellectula! 
No Copypasterino Wufferino please!!!!!
Could you help me to find him? Please Type (Franker Z) Or (Ralpher Z) To find them! Thank you! The Twitch Chat is so intellectula! No Copypasterino Wufferino please!!!!!
twitch chat
Kripp
High IQ to understand Artifact
twitchquotes:
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Artifact. The gameplay is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the gameplay will go over a typical viewer's head
twitch chat