I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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Amogus
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⣠⣶⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠳⣦⡀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⢹⣿⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣼⡇⠀⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡄⣠
⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡇⠀
⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠶⠿⠿⠿⠿⢷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀
⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀
⣠⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀
⢻⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡟⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀
⠈⠙⢷⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⠿⠛⠁⢀⣶⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀
⢷⣶⣤⣀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⡾⠃⠀
⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿⣶⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⢿⣿⣾⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀
Among Us / Amogus
Things escalated from there
twitchquotes:
I lost my virginity while listening to this song 5 years ago, it's a funny story really.. i had just finished my gym workout and i was in the locker room all sweaty, and in walks this leather dressed jabroni.. he seemed confused as to where he was.. i told him he might have gotten the wrong door, then he got very rude and said "fuck you", then i said "nah fuck you leatherman" and then things escalated from there
twitch chat
i was raised to serve my wife
Mario Party Superstars Bowser Eat Shit Sticker
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⣿⣿⣯⠀⠘⢁⣤⣾⣿⣿⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣷⢹⣦⣴⣾⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿
⣟⣋⡁⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⢿⣿⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿
⠛⠿⣏⠀⢠⣈⠻⣿⣿⢱⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⡌⠀⠀⠛⠛⢛
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⣿⣿⣾⡟⠉⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⢿⡇⠀⢀⣀⣀⡈⢿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠙⠻⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⢰⠄⠀⠀⠀⠛⠋⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡹⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿
⡀⠀⠀⠹⣧⠀⠀⢀⣬⣥⡤⣠⣤⡰⣿⣟⣿⣦⣶⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⢎⠹⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣰⣶⣦⡤⣠⣿⣿⡿
⣿⣷⡆⠀⣽⠇⢠⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣃⢨⢀⣿⡿⠱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⡧⠉⠀
⣿⠏⠀⣼⠏⠀⢠⠍⢀⡐⣡⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⠝⡛⠿⠟⣻⡍⠀⢩⢠⣿⣿⠃⠀⢬⣟⡻⠿⠿⠇⢿⡕⠀⢠⣶
⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠈⠀⠠⠈⣴⠎⠀⢰⣦⡶⠇⡃⠀⠀⠈⠃⣤⣀⣿⣿⢋⣀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠘⠻
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⠀⠈⠋⠉⠛⠷⣮⣙⢵⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠘⣛⣭⡶⠟⢣⣤
⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠈⢛⣫⡍⠀⠀⠀⣹⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⠟⠋⢁⣤⣾⣿⣿
⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠉⠻⠆⠛⣿⠟⠛⢿⠟⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠔⠘⠛⠛⠻⠟⠛⠛⠛⠃⠿⠿⠓⢲⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⣛⠃⠃⣸⢿⡄⣀⠛⣿⠛⣃⡆⢰⣟⡛⠀⣿⣇⣀⣿⢸⡇⢘⢻⡟⢛⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣟⣉⡀⢰⡿⠾⣷⠘⡇⣿⠀⣬⡁⢠⣉⣻⡆⣿⡏⠉⣿⢸⡇⢸⢸⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠉⠁⢀⣭⣥⣧⣭⣴⣌⣃⣬⣍⣩⣄⠉⠁⠀⢉⣬⣥⣴⣬⣥⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡖⠀⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣶⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro
I was driving with a friend
I grab his leg instead of the gearstick
We both laugh and I unzip his pants
I park the car while fondling with his balls, my friend is laughing because he knows it's a joke and we're just friends
I start sucking his dick and was about to choke on it because I'm laughing so hard
My friend is also laughing his ass off, he starts making train noise while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO"
He then cums and then I swallow it all and kiss him while both laughing cuz we know it's a joke.
Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro.