[Copypasta] I hate taking shits

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting
April 2022
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More Copypastas

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. β€œAre you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. β€œSoon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltβ€”the alternation feature brokenβ€”on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a timeβ€”hours?β€”you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

COCK yep

β’ β£Άβ Ώβ Ώβ£·β‘„β ˆβ£ β£Άβ Ώβ’Ώβ£Άβ‘„β ‰β£‘β£Άβ Ώβ Ώβ£Άβ‘„β „β£Ώβ‘‡β’€β£Ύβ‘Ώβ ƒ ⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⒰⣿⑇⒀⠄⣿⣿⠄⣿⑏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⑀ β Ήβ£Ώβ£„β£ β£Άβ‘†β „β’Ώβ£·β£€β£ β£Ώβ‘Ÿβ „β’»β£·β£„β£ β£Άβ †β „β£Ώβ‘β ˆβ’Ώβ£· YEP
March 2020

Ming like a Lee

twitchquotes: Fly like a butterfly (γƒŽοΏ£γƒΌοΏ£)γƒŽ Sting like a bee (β”ŒοΎŸΠ΄οΎŸ)β”Œ RNG pls bless me γƒΎ( ͝° ΝœΚ–Ν‘Β°)γƒŽβ™ͺ Ming like a Lee ヽ MingLee γƒŽβ™ͺ♬
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Clean All The Things

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β”€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β”€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–„β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ ──────────▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▄ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β–€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–Œ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ
September 2021

This is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend IncorporatedΒ©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has legend) as you no longer are a "never legend". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing