[Copypasta] I hate taking shits

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting
April 2022
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Terminating your casual account

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp this is BLIZZARD, remember how we gave you every card...golden! Just to get you to legend. And you're stuck at 9? Its the end of the season Kripp... were gonna have to terminate your casual account.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once

A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once. He comes is and is posturing like he’s really tall and large but the guy couldn’t be more than 5’4”. The class starts and he is just sitting there in quietly staring forward in the front of the class with an awfully distorted picture of his face that said “The required information is in the lab directions” but he never handed us anything. This goes on for a minute until one of the talkative kids just asks if he is okay he hadn’t even taken a breath yet and veins were popping out of his neck and forehead. The moment the kid made a noise he stated wildly shaking his head around while making high pitched laser(?) sounds. Worst period of geology I’ve ever had. The rest was just him passing out the lab sheet but he would just hold it toward them motionless until they reached for it and he would snatch it away and laugh at them right in their face. Couldn’t find a more fucked guy if I tried. I'll edit in the image if anyone got a pic of it.
March 2022
Jerma985

I'm one with the kripp

twitchquotes: Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros", I know it's time. I full screen the stream and grab my vaseline. I apply a huge load onto my newly shaved butthole and rub it all around nice and even. And then, when kripp says "thanks, and welcome to the 5 dollar club", I place my butthole in front of the screen. It is in that moment, that kripp fists me. I moan with pleasure. I'm one with the kripp
twitch chat
August 2019
Kripp

Putin

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣵⣿⣿⣿⠿⡟⣛⣧⣿⣯⣿⣝⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣍⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢹⣿⣿⢻⠎⠔⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⠇⡶⠄⣿⣿⠿⠟⡛⠛⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣗⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠐⣿⣿⡿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣶⣶⣶⣿⣁⣔⣤⣀⣼⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣟⣿⣿⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣽⠛⢻⣽⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⡷⠻⢻⡻⣯⣝⢿⣟⣛⣛⣛⠝⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠸⣿⣿⡟⣹⣦⠄⠋⠻⢿⣶⣶⣶⡾⠃⡂⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠟⠋⠄⢻⣿⣧⣲⡀⡀⠄⠉⠱⣠⣾⡇⠄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⢾⣾⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⠟⠃⠄⠄⢈⣻⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣾⣷⡄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2018

Rick screaming

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠤⠴⠒⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠦⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡤⠒⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⢄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡤⠤⠖⠒⠚⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠒⠒⠶⠤⢄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠑⠲⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⠲⠶⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠒⠒⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠶⠒⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠲⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠤⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢧⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡄⠀ ⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠺⡗⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇ ⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠲⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠶⠒⠉⠁⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠈⠓⠶⠤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⡤⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⢄⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⠤⠂⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠲⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠴⠚⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⠤⠤⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀ ⣀⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢦ ⠁⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⠉⠛⣻⣶⠢⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠘⢦⣀⣠⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠴⠒⠛⣷⣶⣤⣄⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠉⣳⢤⣀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠔⠛⣧⡀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄ ⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣶⣿⣿⠀⠈⠙⠲⣤⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣀⡤⠴⣾⡉⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣠⣾⣷⠀⠉⠉⣽⡏⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣦⣄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣾⣿⣷⣄⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁ ⠀⠀⠈⠻⣏⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⢀ ⣦⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠦⣄⡞⠁⠀⠀⢻⡿⠏⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⠟⠉⠻⣿⡿⠋⠉⢿⡿⠃⠀⢀⣨⠿⠋⠀⠀⣴⠚ ⠀⠉⠦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠲⠦⣄⣼⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠸⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢹⠇⠀⠀⠀⢻⠃⠀⢀⣨⡧⠴⠒⠉⠀⠀⢀⡤⠏⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠒⠢⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠒⠒⠛⠒⠲⠤⠤⠴⠧⠤⠤⠤⠤⠼⠖⠒⠒⠒⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣀⣀⡴⠞⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠴⠖⠒⠒⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

Rick and Morty

Text-to-Speech Playing