I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
It seems you have Tissed Krump
twitchquotes:
Rania arrives home with a paper bag by her hand. "Foodie time !", says Kripp ready to stuff his face in front 20.000 viewers. As Rania hands over the bag and gives him a passionate kiss, she notices that his lips feel different. She looks into his eyes and yells in horror as she sees someone else in Kripps seat. "It seems you have Tissed Krump."
twitch chat
Kripp
Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English
Bi God’s bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradūāten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the “Internet”? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spēking wit minen aspīeris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spīen aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spītǒus frivōl thou namest “thine lif”. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed!
Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cǒuthest hauen knouen what unblessed pūnīciǒun thine littel “gleu” glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tǒng stille. But thou cǒuthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
Navy Seal
Domino's Pizza and Hatsune Miku
Hello everyone. I'm Scott, President of Domino's Pizza. Have you heard of Hatsune Miku? Today I'd like to announce a new collaborative project featuring Hatsune Miku: Domino's App, featuring Hatsune Miku. Hatsune Miku exists in a software called Vocaloid. Vocaloid enables you to produce songs. A character called Hatsune Miku sings the songs you create. A great feature is you can create songs as you like. I knew our talented Domino's Pizza crew could work together and create great Vocaloid songs. Bokuro P, Eshi, Chiyo Kiyoshi, Furitsu Keshi, everyone! Amazing Vocaloid songs have been created with the fantastic imagination of the crews all over Japan. The challenge was successfully carried out and this new collaborative app was produced.
D O M I N O S P I Z Z A
Based on Miku's image, the Domino's App changes its appearance. A lot of music and illustrations produced by Domino's crew are here. From the menu to the order, it looks very cute, just like Miku. Once your pizza's delivered, have some fun with Miku! It comes with a social camera function and you can take various poses, pictures of Miku, very cool. And last, but not least, the live performance! Start the pizza stage live and point the camera towards the pizza box, and the pizza box will turn into a live dancing venue. A live performance of Luv4Night produced by Domino's crew! Here we go!
D O M I N O S P I Z Z A
Let's enjoy the rest of the performance with the app!
Weebs
Gr8 b8 m8
twitchquotes:
Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8, I hope you r8 8/8 .. m8.
twitch chat
Classic
I pay $4.99 a month to enjoy chat
twitchquotes:
ᶫᶦˢᵗᵉᶰ ᵘᵖ ᵐᵒᵗʰᵉʳᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉʳˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵃᶜᵗᶦᶰᵍ ʷᵃʸ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ʰᵃᶰᵈ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵃᶜᵗᶦᶰᵍ ᶦᶰ ᵃᶜᶜᵒʳᵈ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵗʷᶦᵗᶜʰ ᵖᵒᶫᶦᶜᶦᵉˢ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵗʰᶦˢ ˢᵖᵃᵐᵐᶦᶰᵍ ᵃᶰᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᶫˢᵒ ʳᵘᶦᶰᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ʷʰᶦᶜʰ ᴵ ᵖᵃʸ $4⋅99 ᵃ ᵐᵒᶰᵗʰ ᵗᵒ ᵉᶰʲᵒʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ ᶦᶠ ᴵ ˢᵉᵉ ᵃᶰʸᵒᶰᵉ ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᴵ'ᵐ ᶜᵃᶫᶫᶦᶰᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵖˢ
twitch chat
Kripp