Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.
I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you?
If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit.
If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that.
But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)
I just shit and cum.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:
* Being gay
* Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
* walter
## Am I going to shit and cum too?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.
## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 5, Finale 2)
That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
Among Us / Amogus
Trolling with Among Us
Traveled the entire galaxy trying to find out who asked
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. . ﾟ . . ✦ , . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ . . . ✦⠀ , ⠀ ⠀ , ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. ⠀ ⠀. ˚ ⠀ ⠀ , . . ⠀ ⠀ ⠀✦⠀ . . . ⠀ . ˚ ﾟ . .⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀, * ⠀. . ⠀✦ ˚ .⠀ . . ✦⠀ , ⠀ . ⠀ . ˚ ⠀ ⠀ , . ⠀ . Traveled the entire galaxy trying to find out who asked⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. ⠀⠀⠀✦ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀* ⠀⠀⠀. . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀✦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. . ﾟ . .
Classic
Who Asked?
Smash Ball
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣴⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣦⣾⢟⢁⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠂⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢟⣿⣿⣾⠟⠁⠀⣠⣾⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⣼⣧⠀⢺⣿⣿⡃⠀⣴⣿⡟⠁⣼⠅⣠⣿⡗⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣧⣠⣾⣿⣿⣆⣼⣿⣿⣡⢀⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣷⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣀⣤⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⣤⣿⣿⠋⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢿⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢀⣼⡏⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡉⢀⣀⣤⣾⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠄
⢻⣿⣧⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡁⠀
⠈⢻⣿⡍⠉⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣯⣴⣿⣥⣶⡾⢟⠉⠀⠀
⠀⢨⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠻⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⢿⣷⣤⡾⠯⠁⠀
Super Smash Bros
Are you Reynad's dad?
twitchquotes:
I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
Reynad