Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.
(āĢæĹĢÆāā¬ā“ā¬ā“ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call
So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iām a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iām not sure what to say in interviews now if Iām asked why I left this job. Any advice?
My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high
twitchquotes:
My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
copypasta is dumb
twitchquotes:
copypasta is dumb (dont copy this message. i know its tempting, and i know you might think it'll be funny, but in reality, it's not)
twitch chat
Donald Trump said to Trump
twitchquotes:
Donald Trump said to Trump while playing Trumps, ādid u Trumpā¦Trump?ā He replied āNo Trump I didnāt Trump while playing Trumpsā¦Trumpā, Trump then said āsounded like a Trumpet Trump, or did u do a Trump Trump that sounded like a Trumpet playing Trumpsā¦Trumpā, He replied āHey is that Brian Kibbler, Kibbler Brian of Brian Kibbler Gamingā¦Kibbler Kibbler Brian Kibblerā¦?ā 
twitch chat
Trump
hello my name is Carlos i from Turkmenistan
twitchquotes:
hello my name is Carlos i from Turkmenistan. I watch master Q.T.PIE stream everytiem. i have no arm or leg so i playing with my huge !@#$%. I quit my job at the teemo mushroom factori to becom pro player. I go from bronze IV to gold IX in six monts. pls no
twitch chat
imaqtpie