I struggle to find the right words to describe just how much I hate the French language. I'm not racist but I think the world would really be a better place if all French speakers just stopped speaking French and learned a normal language. Nothing about this language remotely makes sense, or is even internally consistent. Why are there so many silent letters? Half the words have pronunciations which somewhat resemble their spelling, and the other half seems like French people just decided to add a bunch of letters so they can act like they're better than everyone else. The language seems like it's deliberately constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. Why the hell do verbs have different conjugations for you, me, he/she, we, you(plural), and them? Even the English language doesn't have that many arbitrary conjugations.
I made an honest attempt to learn French, I really did, but the language is just filled with bullshit rules for grammar and everything else. Whichever way you look at it, it's almost as if French is constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. For real, English isn't my first language but I learned it just fine; trying to learn French after that feels like bashing my head against the wall. This is somewhat irrelevant, but I've heard that some French speakers who speak some English like to pretend they don't speak it when you talk to them. Why do you have to make life difficult for everyone, I'm not going to make fun of you for speaking English poorly. That's not even mentioning how metropolitan French has a superiority complex over other variations of French, all neutral observers will agree that they are equally shit. Also I've heard that some French speakers tend to discriminate against people who speak a local dialect of French, as if one version of a language is better than all others. Sure, the same thing happens with English, but at least the English language doesn't suck.
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More Copypastas
Unidan "jackdaw is a crow"
Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow."
Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that.
As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing.
If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens.
So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too.
Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't.
It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
Classic
Everything points to Amogus
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Among Us / Amogus
Classic
Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call
So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iβm a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iβm not sure what to say in interviews now if Iβm asked why I left this job. Any advice?
Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?
Hey, vsauce, Micheal here!
Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?
Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection.
Erection.
The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights.
But what is "gay"?
To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow.
But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay.
Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star
Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)